Frozen: The Memoirs of Elsa the Snow Queen
by TariaNalu
Summary: We all know the story of Anna, and how she saved Arendelle from an eternal winter by reconciling with her sister. But what about Elsa's side of the story? What was she experiencing throughout all this? Here we have the beloved tale of Anna and Elsa, told from the point-of-view of the Snow Queen herself. Because sometimes, two people can view the same story in very different ways.
1. Introduction

**Konichiwa! TariaNalu here!**

**Is anyone still in the Frozen craze? I mean, I know it's been six/seven months since the movie's been released, but it still holds a special place in my heart. Anyway, this is my first story. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

My name is Elsa. I am the queen of a small kingdom known as Arendelle. If you happen to be reading this, chances are you have heard of my sister, Anna, and the wonderful things she accomplished. Yes, everyone knows the story of my sister, and how she saved Arendelle from an eternal winter by sacrificing her very life to save the sister she loved most. The tale has spread fast around my small kingdom, and even to other nations. As of now, the entire world knows of my sister's exploits. I couldn't be happier for her; she has become a worldwide celebrity. But there's another side to all this; namely, my own reputation. With fame comes gossip. Especially when you're born with a gift as rare and dangerous as mine. Elsa the Witch, some people call me. Elsa the Sorceress. The wicked queen who unleashed an eternal winter upon her kingdom, and froze her sister's heart. This is one of the reasons why I write here; I want to put an end to these rumors, so that people could understand who I really was when it all happened. Not a malicious, wicked witch who cursed her kingdom, but a scared, misunderstood young woman, afraid of the world and the evils it held.

As I mentioned earlier, I was born with a gift. A strange and powerful gift that, for the longest time, I had been viewing as a curse. This is the story of how I turned that curse into a blessing. This is my story. The story of Elsa the Snow Queen.


	2. Winter Wonderland

I was awoken by the sound of her voice.

"Elsa," she whispered into my ear, "Psst." I groaned. Maybe if I didn't say anything, she wouldn't bother me. But if there was one thing I knew about my little sister, it was that she was incredibly stubborn. Not deterred in the slightest by my unresponsiveness, she climbed onto my bed and sat right on top of me. "Elsa! Psst!" she continued, bouncing up and down, "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

I sighed and gave up pretending. "Anna, go back to sleep," I said, looking drowsily up at her with one eye. What time was it, anyway? Our bedroom was still dark, illuminated only by the moonlight that shone through the large, triangular window.

Not giving up, Anna rolled onto her back, still on top of me. I felt my breath being pressed out of me. For a little girl, she was surprisingly heavy. "I just can't," she said in a dramatic voice, "The sky's awake, so I'm awake. So we have to _play."_ I smiled to myself. Even at this late hour, my five-year old sister was still full of life, full of energy. Even though I was only three years older than her, I wasn't quite as lively as she was.

This was becoming a bit of a routine for her. Just a few months earlier, she had started getting in the habit of waking me up each morning, asking me to play (with varied success). Eventually, as the days passed by, she started waking up earlier and earlier, wanting to play for longer before Mama and Papa woke up. But this was just plain ridiculous; the last time she had woken me up, it was around seven o'clock. Now, the sun wasn't even up yet, and she was acting like it was the most normal thing in the world to be up at this hour.

"Go play by yourself," I replied jokingly, gently pushing her off the bed. I heard her land on the floor with a slight _thud._ And then, silence. For a while, I thought she gave up. Again, I learned how stubborn she could be when she climbed back onto my bed and resumed her sitting position right on top of me. She put her warm hand on my face and forced my eyelid open. Looking me right in the eye, she asked with a sly grin, "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

A smile spread across my face. She always knew how to get me.

Fifteen minutes later, I found myself running down the castle's moonlit hallways, Anna pulling me enthusiastically by the hand. Our stifled laughter was the only sound that echoed throughout the otherwise silent hall. "Come on! Come on!" she yelled repeatedly. I had to remind her to keep quiet, in case we wake up our parents. But even as I tried to calm her down, I could barely keep my own voice under an excited whisper. By the time we reached the large doorway that led to the Great Hall, Anna was practically jumping up and down with excitement. We burst through the doors and ran into the room, giggling.

"Do the magic! Do the magic!" Anna pleaded.

Laughing, I brought my hands together and concentrated. A familiar icy feeling formed in my chest, spreading up my arms and into my hands. Suddenly, a gorgeous pattern of glowing snowflakes appeared around my hands, swirling in the air. "Oooh," Anna said, as her big, expressive eyes glowed in wonder, reflecting the light from the magic. She stared at the swirling waves of magic with wide eyes, like she was seeing them for the first time, though she had already witnessed my ability several times. She never got tired of it, I guess.

"Ready?" I asked in a near whisper. Anna nodded eagerly as I concentrated my shimmering creation into a snowball, which I then threw up as high as I could. The snowball traveled higher and higher, leaving a beautiful trail of glowing, blue snowflakes behind it. When the snowball touched the ceiling, it exploded in all directions with a satisfying _poof_, causing a twinkling flurry of snow to fall upon the room. Anna jumped around in near euphoria, catching snowflakes on her tongue.

"This is amazing!" she exclaimed, hopping around. I smiled, happy to see my sister having so much fun. And then I remembered that trick that I discovered a few months earlier.

"Watch this," I said, lifting my skirt just enough to show my foot. Anna watched, her mouth open in surprise, as I stomped my slippered foot onto the marble floor. Immediately, a layer of ice formed on the spot where I set my foot, spreading throughout the Great Hall's floor. Soon enough, the entire room was a giant skating rink. Anna slid around, laughing.

We spent a good deal of the night playing in the winter wonderland I created. At one point, I created a snowman - a favorite activity of mine. "Hi," I said in a goofy voice, standing behind my creation as Anna sat on our father's royal throne, laughing, "I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!" Anna wrapped her tiny arms around the snowman, which stood a good two inches above her.

"I love you, Olaf!" she squealed, burying her round face in the snowman's cold body.

I still remember that night, and the many fun activities we did. I remember having a snowball fight with her (in which I defeated her quite soundly, as per usual), and ice skating with her and Olaf the snowman, using my magic powers to propel the three of us around the ice. I also remember sliding down a high snowbank with her. She put her hands up and screamed excitedly as we slid down the white slope. When we reached the end of the slide, she jumped off my lap, squealed, and landed face-first on a large pile of snow. She got up, giggling, and jumped off the snow pile.

Both she and I were unaware that this innocent little action would eventually trigger a chain of events that would come to ruin me for the next few years.

"Catch me!" she said, laughing.

"Hang on!" I replied as I cast another wave of magic, forming another pile of snow beneath her. She landed on it, then jumped off without a second thought. I created another pile of snow to catch her, and she bounded off that one as well.

Soon, I was having trouble keeping up with her. "Again! Again!" she repeated, jumping from pile to pile.

"Slow down!" I said, trying desperately to create new peaks of snow to catch her. But she was going too fast. When she leaped off a particularly high peak, I lost my footing and slipped on the icy floor, my breath being knocked out of me as I landed on my rear. I watched helplessly as Anna, still laughing innocently, began to fall.

"Anna!" I yelled, reaching out to form a cushion of snow. But when I extended my hand, the magic I summoned missed its target completely; instead of hitting the ground, forming a cushion for her to land on, it hit her head in midair, causing her laughter to end abruptly. She landed with a horrifying _thud _on a snowbank below, completely motionless. I froze in place, horrified at what I just did.

_Oh no,_ I thought to myself, desperately wishing I could undo my mistake, _what've I done?_ Quickly, I ran towards my unconscious sister and dropped to my shaking knees. I scooped her frail, delicate body into my arms and almost immediately noticed that she was getting paler. _No, no, no..._ My breathing grew shallow as I saw that a streak of her strawberry-red hair turned ice white. _I'm sorry, Anna,_ I wanted to say, feeling my breathing grow heavier. _It was all my fault. I couldn't save you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..._ Instead, all that came out was stunned silence, and a numbing pain in my chest. I gazed through blurred eyes at her waxen face, which, a few minutes earlier, was full of life and happiness. Unable to handle the intense guilt, I became overcome with emotion and broke down, letting my tears fall over Anna's ice-cold, comatose body.

* * *

I held my sister for an unknown amount of time, wallowing in my own grief. Some time later, I snapped back to my senses and called for help. "Mama! Papa!" I screamed, my eyes still wet with tears. My desperate cries echoed around the castle halls for a while, followed by the sound of footsteps rushing towards the Great Hall. I never took my eyes off my sister. "You're okay, Anna," I said to her, "I've got you..." Was she going to make it? The winter playground I had created a while ago began to fall apart. Olaf the snowman crumbled to pieces. Layers of ice started crystallizing involuntarily around the room. I now realize that that was the very first time I had lost control of my powers. It would happen many more times in the future.

Immediately, my parents burst into the Great Hall, frantic with worry. They gasped as they eyed the scene that presented itself before them - a grand hall, filled with snowy structures that were quickly falling apart. A layer of opaque, white ice was quickly spreading around the room, reflecting my growing panic. And in the middle of it all, I knelt on the ground, my little sister lying motionless in my arms.

Now that I think about it, that was the very first time I showed my power in its full strength to my parents. Don't get me wrong, they knew I had magical abilities. Even when I was a baby, my parents said that I would form a small layer of frost on my toys as I played with them, oblivious and happy as a toddler could be. But ever since rumors of a sorceress in the magic family started spreading around the town, Papa urged me to keep my abilities under wraps. And that was the first time I ever felt ashamed of my powers. This was the second.

"Elsa, what have you done?" Papa demanded, rushing towards me, "This is getting out of hand!" I tried to fight back my tears. _But I didn't mean to do it!_ I wanted to say. Instead, I stayed kneeling on the ground, frozen in fear and worry.

"Anna!" Mama cried, distraught with worry. She ran over to me and took my sister's cold body from my arms.

"It was an accident!" I pleaded, looking up at Papa. I turned my gaze towards my sister, lying like a ragdoll in Mama's arms. "I'm sorry, Anna."

"She's ice cold," Mama remarked, probably not listening to me. She looked at Papa in desperation, clearly unsure what to do.

Papa's brow furrowed in deep thought. "I know what we have to do," he stated, "Idun, get the horses ready. And Elsa..." He paused and looked at me with an unreadable expression. But I couldn't bring myself to look at him, I was so ashamed. Finally, he spoke, "Come with me." I nodded, and hurried behind Papa obediently.

As I followed Papa down the wanly moonlit hall, Mama went over to rouse the servants and order them to prepare the horses. "Papa?" I asked, holding my hand to my chest in shame, "where are we going?" He didn't answer. Instead, as we entered the dark library, he raced to a dusty shelf, full of very old books that Anna and I were never allowed to touch. He hastily shifted through them and pulled out a brown, leather-bound tome. He flipped frantically through the book's pages, stopping when he reached a page that showed some sort of ancient map. Papa studied the old page, the anxiety clearly building in his eyes as he traced his finger across the yellowed paper.

"This is where we have to go," he hurriedly muttered as he tapped a green patch on the map. I looked over the table's edge, standing on my tiptoes. In the darkness that surrounded me, I struggled to clearly make out the spot on the map where his finger rested. The name of the place was written in some language that I couldn't understand.

"Where is it?" I asked, unable to read the map. Instead of answering, my father put a gloved hand on my back and led me towards the castle gates.

"You'll see when we get there. Now, come with me, Elsa."


	3. The Trolls

Next thing I knew, I was with my father on a horse, galloping at top speed under a bright autumn moon. Mama was on her own horse right beside us, with Anna safe in her arms. The sound hooves hitting stone echoed sharply throughout the serene night. I didn't know where we were going, or how long it would take for us to get there. All I knew was that we had to save Anna, and as quickly as possible. All the while, I fought a losing battle against my emotions, trying my best to be strong for Anna.

At our urgent speed, our trip only took five minutes, though it felt like hours. We finally stopped at a small valley. Round stones were scattered all over the rocky landscape. I looked around to see if there was any life in the area, but not a single person was in sight. The horses' heavy panting was the only sound that broke the deafening silence. Up in the sky, the Northern Lights put on their nightly show, formless green shapes that shifted aimlessly across the darkness, giving the night sky an eerie, green glow.

Papa helped me off the horse and held my hand as we hurriedly made our way down a rocky ledge. Mama hastened behind us, holding Anna in her arms. When we made our way to the bottom, Papa called out to no one in particular, "Help! My daughter!" For an uncomfortable five seconds, there was absolute silence. I looked around in desperation, hoping someone would come help us. Why did Papa bring us here? Anna was getting worse by the second, and there was no one around to help us. Then, I heard a low, rumbling sound. I whipped my head around and noticed that the round stones were moving towards us..._by themselves._ Fearful, I scooted closer to Papa as the rocks surrounded our family.

"Papa?" I whispered as they rolled ever closer to us.

Before the stones could reach us, though, they stopped in their tracks and, to my surprise, unfolded themselves, transforming into these...creatures. They were tiny, with rock-hard, gray skin, stubby limbs, and bright, expressive faces. In my dazed state, it took me a while to recognize them, but when I did, it took all I had to hold back a gasp. _Trolls,_ I thought to myself, _they're trolls_. I had only seen them in my old mythology books; I never knew they were real. I stared at them, fascinated and scared at the same time. I wondered how Papa knew of their existence, or how they could possibly help Anna.

Meanwhile, the trolls curiously gathered around the four of us, likely wondering what the royal family was doing in their humble valley. Then the crowd parted, and an older troll, who the others referred to as "Grand Pabbie," came forth. He wore an outfit of moss and glowing yellow crystals, and had a mane of grass, which I could only guess identified him as the chief.

"Your Majesty," the old troll said in a gruffy voice, bowing ever so slightly. Then he turned to me. His eyes had a strange mixture of kindness and seriousness in them. "Born with the powers, or cursed?" he asked Papa, still looking at me.

"Born," Papa quickly replied, "and they're getting stronger."

Pabbie then turned to Mama. She bent down, allowing him to examine Anna. I watched nervously as Mama and Papa left Anna's safety in Pabbie's hands. He put a hand on my sister's head and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Then he opened his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "You are lucky it wasn't her heart," Pabbie remarked after scrutinizing my sister, "The heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded." I didn't quite know what that meant. I only wanted him to save my sister.

"Do what you must," Papa responded solemnly.

Pabbie put a rocky hand on Anna's forehead. "I recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic, to be safe," he stated. Suddenly, a small, glowing cloud appeared from Anna's head. It displayed pictures of the two of us playing together. Her memories, probably? "But don't worry," he continued, "I'll leave the fun." Instantly, the memories depicted in the cloud began to change. Pictures of me and Anna playing in an indoor winter playground were changed to show of the two of us playing out in the snow instead, like ordinary children. Many other memories involving my powers were also changed into "ordinary" memories. When the change was complete, Pabbie replaced the newly altered memories back into Anna's head, and a small smile made its way onto her face, which had already regained some of its color. She remained unconscious, however, and the ice-white streak in her hair stayed ever-present.

"She will be okay," Pabbie remarked, a note of compassion in his voice. Papa and Mama exchanged looks of relief.

There was just one problem, though. "But she won't remember I have powers?" I asked.

"It's for the best," Papa responded in a comforting tone. My heart fell at the news. To Anna, I would just be an ordinary child, no longer her sister with the special powers. All those times we spent playing in the Great Hall would be forgotten. At least she would also forget about my terrible mistake. She would never know that I nearly killed her. I allowed myself to be slightly comforted by the thought.

Pabbie turned once again to me. "Listen to me, Elsa," he began, "your power will only grow." As he spoke, he waved his arms. In response, the sky itself displayed strange lights, forming stunning patterns and designs. Pabbie continued speaking. "There is great beauty in your magic." He controlled the lights in the sky so that they showed an adult woman - me? - creating beautiful, blue snowflakes. I marveled at the intricate magnificence displayed by the lights in the sky. "But also great danger," he finished his sentence as the snowflakes burst into red spikes. I gasped as I stared at the threatening lights with wide eyes. "You must learn to control it," Pabbie further stated, as the lights in the sky showed the woman from before surrounded by two more figures. They, too, seemed to be afraid of the red spikes. "Fear will be your enemy," he finished, as the figures, panicking, attacked the woman in a flash of red light. I swore I heard a woman's screaming echoing throughout the night. I gasped and hugged Papa, not wanting to watch any more. Was that really going to be my fate? I thought back to the incident in the castle, after I hit Anna. Ice had formed on the walls without my own control. Would I really lose control of my powers in the future? Papa wrapped his arms around me protectively. He stayed in deep thought for a while. I sobbed silently, soaking Papa's coat with my tears.

"No," he said unwaveringly to Pabbie, having made a decision, "we'll protect her. She can learn to control it, I'm sure." He turned to Mama. "Until then, we'll lock the gates. We'll reduce the staff. We will limit her contact with people and keep her powers hidden away from everyone...including Anna."

I flinched away from Papa, visibly hurt by his decision. Was that really what he had in store for me? Seclusion in my room? How long was I going to be cut off from the world? From Anna? Then Papa turned to me, his expression softening. He knelt down and put a hand on my shoulder. "Elsa, please understand," he said, seeing the pain in my eyes, "it's only temporary. I promise, there will be a day when you will be able to control your powers. Until then, can you try your best to control them?"

Despite the tears welling up in my eyes, and the realization that I was going to spend a good deal of my life all alone, I only nodded submissively and responded, "Yes, Papa."


	4. The Last Day of Freedom

After our encounter with the trolls, we rode back to the castle in silence. Anna remained unconscious in Mama's arms. There seemed to be a look of comfort on my sister's face, like she was just asleep and dreaming - something pleasant, perhaps. As the horses continued sauntering at a relaxed pace, I sat quietly in Papa's lap, thinking about the future. His words rung clearly in my head. _We will limit her contact with people and keep her powers hidden from everyone...including Anna._ I tried to imagine my life like that; alone, separated from the world for who knows how long. The word "isolation" came to mind often. I didn't yet realize just how badly the next few years were going to affect me, but I was nonetheless deathly afraid of what I had in store.

When we arrived at the castle gates, a whole team of servants poured outside, concerned and wondering why the royal family would be going out at this hour. In hushed tones, they tended to the four of us, asking Papa if he needed anything. With a tired sigh and a wave of the hand, he dismissed them, allowing them to return to their sleeping quarters. This matter concerned our family only; there was no need for anyone else to be involved.

The four of us went straight to Anna's and my room. Through the large, single window, I could barely make out the subtle traces of dawn, a faint line of pink that lined the mountainous, silhouetted horizon, contrasting with the vast, navy-blue sky, still full of stars. Mama and Papa carefully laid Anna on her bed as I climbed onto my own. I pulled the covers over myself, holding them close to comfort myself, and rolled onto my side, making sure to hide my face from my parents. Without a word, they walked out the room and closed the door behind them, leaving me to wallow in my own shame.

The following morning (or later that morning, I suppose), I heard Anna groan softly, sit up, and yawn. I kept my eyes glued to the wall beside me, away from Anna, as she dropped out of bed. I heard her slippered feet hit the wooden flooring as she drew closer to me. As I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep, she tapped my back repeatedly, back to her usual habit.

"Elsa," she whispered, "Hey, Elsa! Psst!"

"Yes, Anna?" I replied, my voice somber.

"Are Mama and Papa awake yet? Come on, let's play outside! It's really sunny."

I sat up and looked at her. Her face was full of innocent hope, completely oblivious to the previous night's events. Yet, something was different about the way she looked at me. The childlike wonder that often showed itself in her eyes was gone. To her, I was just an ordinary older sister, no longer the girl with the magic powers. I turned my head away from her, fighting a losing battle against freshly formed tears. "No, Anna," I said slowly, "I don't think I can play today."

* * *

"Elsa," Papa said as he sat at his desk. Beside him, Mama stood, tall and regal like a true queen, but with a clearly downcast expression on her face. I sat on the couch, hugging my knees for comfort. Beside me, the fireplace flickered, struggling to stay alive. It cast ominous shadows all over the library's walls.

Papa sighed and paused for a while, staring at his mahogany desk. His brow furrowed in - what was it? Deep thought? Frustration? Perhaps both. Whatever it was, I knew it couldn't be good. Both he and I were at a loss for words; me huddled up nervously on the couch, him hunched over at his desk. Both of us were silent, an unspoken tension hanging in the air.

Mama broke the silence. "Elsa," she said, "you don't have to be afraid. We're not mad at you. Now, why don't you tell us what happened?"

I sighed and looked up at them. They stared back at me expectedly, waiting for an answer. After taking a deep breath, I explained everything - Anna waking me up past midnight, the two of us playing out in the Great Hall, me accidentally hitting her with my powers. The memory of that night played itself vividly in my head as I spoke, like I was reliving the painful experience all over again.

When I finished explaining myself, Papa stared at me for a while, resting his chin on his clasped hands. Finally, he said, "Thank you for being honest. Is there anything else you want to say?"

"I'm sorry, Papa."

"It's all right, Elsa. There's no need to dwell on what has already happened. The only thing we can do now is prevent such incidents from happening again."

I silently nodded, knowing full well what he meant. "Are you going to quarantine me?"

Despite the grim aura that hung over all of us, the edge of Papa's lips curled upwards in a smile. He was probably surprised that I knew that word. "Now, Elsa. Don't think of it like that. This isn't imprisonment. It's...a private lesson. Like the ones your tutor gives you. I'll show you how to keep your powers under wraps. But to do that, we need a certain level of privacy." He sighed and got up from his desk, walking to the window as he clasped his hands behind his back. "This is partly my fault, you know. I should have known that your powers would grow stronger as you grew older. I never taught you how to control them...until it was too late." He turned towards me. "This is only temporary, please remember. And when it's all finished, your life will be back to normal. I promise, Elsa." Mama smiled at me, silently agreeing with everything Papa said.

"So what's going to happen, then?" I asked, hearing the worry in my own voice.

"For starters, you're going to have your own room. I'm sorry, but you cannot be alone with Anna while your powers are out of control like this. I...I can't let something like that happen again." He sighed and bowed his head, sitting back down at his desk. I shook my head imperceptibly, trying to imagine myself sleeping at night without my sister's comforting presence across the room. Then he continued, "You will no longer take lessons from your tutor. Your mother will become your instructor from now on. I can't allow anyone to enter your room, except your mother and I." I winced at the news. Did he really think of me like that? Like a monster, hurting everyone near me? He continued speaking, "And me, well...I'll show you how to control your powers. I may never know what it's like to struggle with such a dark secret, but I'll do my best to help you through it, Elsa."

"And what about Anna?"

"What about her?"

"Won't I be able to see her again?"

Papa sighed and put his head in his hands, not knowing how to word his response. Instead, Mama spoke up, her voice soft and careful. "Oh, Elsa. Listen to me. I'm afraid we just can't let you see your sister while this is going on. It's too dangerous, and she's still very young. And she has no memory of your...abilities. Your father and I think it's better that it stays this way. Just remember, it's only temporary. You'll be able to see her again in a few weeks, if you follow our instructions carefully. Do you understand, Elsa?"

I nodded silently, though deep inside, I was screaming in agony.

* * *

I trudged out of the library with dragging footsteps, my spirits lower than ever. Somehow, I knew that I would be spending more than just a few weeks shut in my room. How was I ever going to cope? As soon as I closed the door behind me, I came face-to-face with Anna, her hands clasped behind her back as a wide smile permeated her face. How long had she been waiting there?

"Hi Elsa!" she chirped, "What were you doing in there? You sure took a while."

I avoided her gaze. "It's nothing, Anna."

"You okay?"

"Yes, Anna. I'm fine."

"You wanna go outside and play now?"

I allowed a sad smile to creep onto my face, taking in the sight of her bubbly, innocent grin. One that I wouldn't be seeing for a long time. "I'm sorry Anna," I replied slowly, "I still can't. Not for a while."

Anna opened her mouth to ask a question when I heard the door open behind me. Then came Papa's voice. "Elsa, what are you doing?" he asked, taking me by the hand. He led me down the hallway, away from Anna. Papa whispered in my ear, "I told you to stay away from her. I'm sorry Elsa, but I can't risk you losing control again. And Anna cannot know about your secret. Do you understand?" I silently nodded, still looking back at Anna, a confused expression on her face as she stood by herself.

Later that day, I sat on the carpeted floor, my back against the wall, hugging my knees tightly against my chest. Papa had already shown me my new room, a spare room in the East Wing that was previously reserved for important guests. I was relocated to that specific room for a reason; this way, I would be as far away as possible from Anna, whose room was in the West Wing. I watched helplessly as a team of servants moved in and out of the unfamiliar bedroom, delivering all my things - furniture, clothes, toys, and books - into my new room, this prison in which I would spend all my time alone. I silently prayed that I wouldn't have to stay there for long. Finally, deciding that it was too depressing to watch them, I got up and left.

To be honest, I don't exactly remember everything I did that day. Everything passed by in a bit of a blur; I couldn't concentrate. Instead, I wandered aimlessly around the castle halls in a sort of dazed state. I ran my hand along the walls and tried to take everything in - the sights, sounds, and smells of the outside world. I remember meandering into the Great Hall and watching behind a pillar, horrified, as Papa fired dozens of servants on the spot without explanation. As soon as he finished, I ran out from behind my hiding place, teary-eyed, and asked him why he cut the castle's staff by nearly half. Some of those servants had been working in the palace for as long as I could remember; it was hard to see them go. Papa only smiled sadly and put a gloved hand on my shoulder.

"It's all part of our plan, Elsa," he said to me in a comforting tone, "We're hiding a very big secret from the public. In order to keep your powers under wraps, we need to have as few people as possible within the castle walls. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done." I could tell he was trying to make me feel better, but his words had the exact opposite effect. As I watched the poor servants in their rooms, miserably packing up their meager belongings, I kicked myself; it was my fault these people were being thrown out of their jobs.

That evening, Papa had the remaining servants prepare braised fish for supper - a personal favorite of mine. Perhaps he wanted me to enjoy my last family dinner before being shut away. But despite the delicious plate of food that lay in front of me, I found myself unable to eat. I only poked the buttered potatoes absentmindedly with my fork, mulling over the future. Everyone was silent as they ate, even the normally talkative Anna. Her innocent eyes darted from side to side as she took in the melancholy aura that hung over everyone.

If I had known this would be the last meal we would ever be sharing as a complete family, I would have at least tried to enjoy it more.

After we finished eating, Papa promptly sent me to my room. Without question, I bowed my head and excused myself, making the long, mournful journey down the rarely traveled East Wing. As I stood beneath the unfamiliar doorway to my new room, I found myself unable to enter. A small part of me said that once I enter the room, I would never come out. Just then, I heard the pitter-patter of Anna's tiny, slippered feet running down the hall.

"Elsa?" she called out. I turned around just in time to see her round the corner. She skidded to a stop as soon as she saw me, a look of confusion and worry on her face. She must have entered her room and noticed that all my things were gone. "Elsa?" she repeated. It was all she needed to say; her expression alone said the rest. _Why are you leaving? Please don't leave me, Elsa. I'll be all alone._

I wanted so badly to respond to her, to at least say one last good-bye before shutting her out completely. But she and I were alone; this was exactly the kind of situation Papa had told me to avoid. I couldn't even bring myself to look at her, especially while the white streak in her hair served as a constant reminder of the previous night's events. Without a word, I promptly slipped into my new room, leaving behind a very heartbroken Anna. I shared one last desperate glance with my sister - a silent cry for help - before closing the door and shutting her out completely.


	5. Beginnings, Part One

I still remember when I first met my little sister.

At the time, I was only three years old. Mama had been staying in her room for the past three days; I hadn't seen her since. In fact, strange things had already been happening before this. Her belly got really big for a few months, and then one day, she decided to just...shut herself in her room. Papa prevented me from seeing her, saying that she was terribly sick. Of course, being the age I was, I readily believed him, and I spent the next few days avoiding Mama's room. In that time, I made tiny, crudely made ice sculptures and asked Papa to give them to her, thinking they would make her feel better. Things continued like this for two more days. Then one day, Papa burst out of Mama's room, looking frantic. He rushed out of sight before I could ask him anything. Then, not a minute later, a frenzied crowd of women flooded into Mama's room without warning.

"Don't!" I pleaded to them, completely oblivious to what was really happening, "She's sick!" What were they going to do to her? I sat anxiously outside Mama's bedroom door. Being only three years old at the time, I had no clue what was going on in there. Minutes later, I heard screaming - Mama's screaming - coming from inside the bedroom door. She sounded like she was in terrible pain. I gasped and covered my ears as tears sprang to my eyes; I had never heard Mama scream in pain before. Whatever was going on in there must've been really painful. I don't quite remember how long I waited out there. But eventually, after what seemed like hours, the screaming stopped. And then...crying. Loud crying. But it wasn't Mama's. It sounded like...a baby? I carefully knocked on the door.

"Mama?" I asked through a fit of sobs, "Are you alright?"

A young servant, Gerda, opened the door ever so slightly, just wide enough for her to see who was on the other side. She looked at me with a shocked expression, as if she didn't expect me to be there. I craned my neck to see what was going on inside, but Gerda's frame prevented me from seeing anything.

"Oh Elsa," she said gently as she slipped out of the room, putting a slender hand on my head, "it's not yet time. I'll take you to your room, and we'll call you when _you-know-who _is ready to meet you!" As she hurriedly walked me to my room, I stared absentmindedly at the carpeted floor, replaying her words over and over in my head.

_It's not yet time?_ I thought, _Time for what? And who's "you-know-who?"_ But after Gerda dropped me off, she left before I had a chance to ask her anything. I spent the rest of the day waiting obediently in my room, creating miniature snowmen on my bed to pass the time.

The next morning, Papa woke me up. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were tinted pink, but there was a broad, unmistakable smile on his face. "Elsa, wake up," he told me. I slowly opened my eyes and sat up, stretching. The sun had barely risen; I could see the faint, orange light of dawn shining through the window. Papa knelt at my bedside, grinning from ear to ear. "Come with me. There's someone I'd like for you to meet." Shaking the tiredness from my eyes, I dropped out of my bed and scampered down the hallway alongside Papa, and burst into the master's bedroom.

Mama laid on the bed, and in her arms was a little bundle of blankets.

Mama smiled at me, though I noticed some dark rings under her eyes. Did she sleep at all last night? "Elsa," she said quietly, revealing the presence of a tiny baby among the blankets, "I want you to meet your younger sister, Anna!" Younger sister? I was going to have a younger sister? I couldn't believe it! I was going to have someone to play with!

"Um, Elsa?" Papa asked, seeing that I was frozen with surprise. Then I jumped in the air with excitement. "Hooray!" I squealed, "I have a younger sister!" Mama and Papa promptly shushed me in unison.

"The baby's sleeping," Mama whispered, pointing to the bundle of blankets she held against her chest.

"Hooray," I said in a softer tone, still grinning ear to ear. I went over to the side of the bed to get a closer look at my newborn sister, Anna. The baby was comfortably nestled in my mother's chest, fast asleep. Mama held the baby out, so I could see her delicate, fresh face.

"Hi there, Anna," I whispered, "I'm Elsa. I'm your older sister. We're gonna have so much fun together." Just then the baby woke up, yawned, and opened her big, blue eyes at me. "You're a princess, just like me!" I continued, "I bet you're thinking it's pretty cool, huh? But soon you'll see that people expect a lot from you." I leaned my head closer to her and giggled, whispering, "But you and me, we know better, don't we? I'll show you how to be a _real_ princess...like me!"

"Eh?" the baby responded.

"I'll be the best sister ever," I said to Mama and Papa as little Anna buried her face back in Mama's chest.


	6. Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?

Of course, I wasn't turning out to be a very good sister to Anna. As I lay tossing and turning in my bed, the previous night's incident replayed itself with harrowing clarity in my mind. It was incredibly hard to forget about it; the image of little Anna, laying cold and motionless on the ground, haunted my every thought. I don't know how long I lay awake in my bed, shifting uncomfortably. Hours seemed to pass before I managed to fall asleep. But even then, in the seemingly safe confines of slumber, vivid nightmares afflicted me, forcing me to relive every agonizing second of the previous night's events. At times, they showed me an alternate reality, one in which we were too late to save Anna. I would wake up frantically throughout the night, finding a layer of frost on my covers each time. Then I would uneasily go back to sleep, and the painful cycle would restart itself.

Seconds passed. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes turned into hours. And soon enough, the hours turned into days.

Autumn passed and winter took its place. The beautiful oranges and browns that decorated Arendelle gave way to whites and blues. All the while, I lived my life miserably confined in my room, never leaving once. By the time the first snowfall came, I still wasn't used to my new lifestyle. Mama and Papa would visit me occasionally. They would try to encourage me, and assure me that my current situation wouldn't last for long.

"I know you must be feeling lonely," Mama once said to me, "but before you know it, you'll be able to control your powers, and you'll be living a normal life again. Just a few weeks, Elsa. Then you'll be free." Despite her kindness, I somehow knew that her words weren't true.

Papa tried to teach me how to control my powers. He didn't know what it was like to have magical abilities like mine, but he tried his best to understand me and my problem. "Conceal it, don't feel it," he would say to me every day, "don't let it show." The phrase became my own personal maxim, my cardinal rule to live by. In hindsight, I realize that this philosophy - repressing my powers deep inside me - was only doing more harm than good. But to my young mind, it seemed like the most practical solution. The funny thing was, it actually worked for a while. My ability was safely kept under wraps. But even then, I could feel the ever-present icy feeling in my heart, practically begging to be released. It grew stronger with every passing day. I figured it was only a matter of time before I wouldn't be able to hold it back anymore.

* * *

My suspicions were all but confirmed early one morning, as the snow fell gently from the bright morning sky. That day, I was sitting on my bed, reading one of my storybooks. I was wholly immersed in the tale of Jack Frost when I heard the light pitter-patter of a certain someone's tiny feet approaching my door. My eyes slowly lifted from my book in disbelief as an all-too-familiar voice came from outside.

"Elsa?" said the person at my door. It had been ten whole days since I had heard the sound of her voice. It was like a breath of fresh air to me. My sister knocked on the door in her distinct, rhythmic manner. Before realizing what I was doing, I hopped off my bed, ready to answer.

She continued, "Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on, let's go and play!" Suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks, halting to a complete standstill in the middle of the room. As she kept talking through the door, I found myself frozen in place. The last time she had asked me that question, things hadn't ended up very well for the both of us. I simply couldn't go out there and play with her; I knew, just as well as Mama and Papa, that if I did, I would only end up hurting her. I couldn't let that happen again. She may not end up as lucky as she did the last time I hit her with my magic. But at the same time, I knew that refusing to play would break her little heart. And after ten days of seclusion, I was longing to spend some time with my sister. What was I going to do?

_There's only one thing I can do,_ I thought to myself.

Anna continued speaking, her voice muffled by the wooden door. "Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman..."

I steeled myself. Then, before I had a chance to regret anything, I curtly said, "Go away, Anna." Each word cut deep into me like a knife. The effect was immediate. Even as I spoke those three words, tears sprung to my eyes. For a full second, a piercing silence hung between us. I could only imagine Anna's devastated face on the other side of the door.

"Okay, bye..." she finally said, her voice full of despondency. I heard her dragging footsteps slowly recede down the hallway. For a while, I only stood in place, immersed in my own guilt. Then, when I was certain no one could hear me, I ran to my bed and buried my face in my pillow, breaking down into tears.

* * *

That afternoon, I knelt on a bench by the window, looking outside longingly as Anna, far below, tried in vain to build a snowman by herself. Without me, she wasn't having much success; her creation was nothing more than a crude pile of snow with two crooked twigs sticking unevenly out of it. When it fell apart for the third time, she looked up and groaned in frustration, nearly catching sight of me at the window.

I wished, from the bottom of my heart, that I could step foot outside, at least once. After the day's episode with Anna, my spirits were feeling lower than ever. I felt the cold sensation in my heart escalate abruptly, but I paid no attention to it. A big mistake, on my part. As I put my hands on the windowsill, the feeling rapidly spread up my arms and into my hands. I gasped and drew my hands back as a thin layer of ice immediately materialized on the windowsill.

_No,_ I thought as I stared at the blue frost, _please, no_. _How could this happen?_ It was the first sign that I was losing control over my powers.

Later on, Papa visited my room and found me standing by the frozen window, ashamed. "Elsa?" he said, "What happened here?" Barely managing to hold back tears, I explained everything to him - how I had shunned Anna, and inadvertently froze the window just moments later.

"It was an accident!" I pleaded as I watched Papa walk over to the windowsill, "I didn't mean to do it. It just...happened." For a few agonizing seconds, Papa only stood in front of the window, carefully studying the sheet of ice I had created. Then he turned to me. I expected him to reproach me for losing control, but instead, his face was full of understanding.

"It's all right," he said, "it's not your fault. Now, come with me. I have something for you."

Despite the smile on his face, I still feared the worst. Was he going to punish me for losing control? Nonetheless, I obediently followed close behind him, and for the first time in ten days, I finally left my room. It felt like I had been gone for years; the usually busy hallways were quiet and empty, since many of our servants were now permanently gone. Papa led me into the library, where the fireplace was burning brightly. Unlike the cold, empty hall, the library seemed warm and inviting. It wasn't any less quiet, however. I watched as Papa walked over to his desk, reached into a drawer, and pulled out a pair of white gloves, similar to the ones he wore, but much smaller.

"Here," he said, "hold out your hand." I did as I was told, and he neatly slipped the glove over my cold fingers. "The gloves will help," he continued as he put the other one on my right hand. Immediately, I felt safer, like wearing the gloves was somehow helping me control my powers. Papa smiled ever so slightly. "See? Conceal it..."

"...don't feel it," I continued the phrase, all too familiar to me by now.

"Don't let it show," we finished in unison.


	7. A Life of Isolation

My life was quickly turning into a mess. But I carried on with my miserable existence, hopeful that I would be able to leave my room one day. I remembered what Mama had said to me in the library, before my days of confinement. A few weeks. That's what she had told me. I would be staying in my room for a few weeks. But as the days slipped between my fingers, I wasn't get any closer to learning how to control my powers. The days turned to weeks, and my hope began to wane. The weeks turned to months, and the months turned to years. I felt like one of those fairytale princesses in those storybooks Mama would read to me at night. Trapped in tall towers, forced to lead lives of solitude. I felt like I could relate to them. But at least they met with happy endings, being whisked away to freedom by handsome princes. I, on the other hand, saw no happy ending in sight. By the time I was twelve years old, I had already resigned myself to living the rest of my life in my room.

* * *

Even when I was a young child, I had always known that magic was a sensitive subject. Long before Anna was even born, Papa had asked me to keep my powers hidden from the public eye. The only people who were allowed to know of my abilities were my family and a select few servants. The reason for this secrecy could be traced back hundreds of years. People who were accused of having magic within them were often condemned by the masses, who thought of these so-called "witches" as unholy demons. Even today, some people still hold this mindset towards those who practice magic. For some reason, these magicians were always thought to have bad intentions, when in fact they were likely just frightened and misunderstood, having no one to turn to. The common people did everything in their power to rid the world of all those who practiced magic. More often than not, these "sorcerers" were promptly put to death and left unburied. This would explain why it is so hard to come across real magic these days; either the common people have succeeded in killing off all wielders of magic, or those who still practiced magic are too scared to come out. But no one would have suspected that someone in Arendelle's royal family - indeed, the heiress to the throne - was herself a so-called "magician," born with the ability to create ice and snow. Mama and Papa managed to keep my magic powers hidden from the public, political, and religious eye. They knew that if just one person caught wind of my secret, the news would spread like wildfire. And before they knew it, they would have lost their eldest daughter to an angry mob. That was why I was known to most as the ordinary-sounding "princess of Arendelle," and not "Elsa the Snow Queen" or something like that. And that was also why Papa decided to take his protectiveness of me one step further by keeping me in my room.

* * *

As the days slowly passed, my parents continued visiting me. They never gave up on me, even though I had already given up on myself more times than I cared to count. They constantly assured me that I would eventually be able to conceal my magic and live a normal life once more. I wished that I could share their optimism. But as the years came and went, I could see their hope slowly fade. Although they tried to be as encouraging as possible, I could see in their eyes that I was gradually becoming a lost cause. But despite the hardships, they refused to give up on me, and for that I was grateful. However, I still felt guilty that they had to sacrifice so much - their time, energy, and yes, even their staff - to help me. I was becoming a very problematic burden for my poor parents, who still had to spend their time and energy towards ruling the kingdom.

My personal tutor, who had been educating me for most of my childhood, was now gone. She was one of the many workers that Papa had fired in order to keep my secret safe. Instead, Mama became my teacher. She taught me the usual school subjects for a girl my age, such as reading and mathematics. But apart from all that, she also instructed me in a very important duty - ruling Arendelle. I had always known that I would be the queen someday. I may have had dangerous powers, and I may have been holed up in my room like a prisoner, but I was still my parents' eldest child. And as such, I was also the rightful heiress to Arendelle's throne. Mama taught me everything there was to know about being a queen, from political discussion to proper etiquette. Although she taught me well, I nonetheless dreaded my coronation day. Nothing made me more nervous than all the attention I would be receiving as queen. What if someone were to discover my powers? What would happen then?

I remember coming to Mama with my concerns. I was just a ten-year old girl, sitting at my desk with a quill in hand. I was faithfully carrying out my studies as Mama sat on my bed nearby, watching over me.

"Hey Mama?" I said as soon as I finished writing. I set the quill down and stared at the paper, waiting for the ink to dry.

She turned to me, having been snapped out of her pensive mood. "Yes, Elsa?"

"I'm going to be the queen one day, right?"

"That's right. Why do you ask?"

I paused to face her. "What if I haven't learned how to control...well, you know...?"

Mama cocked her head ever so slightly. "What do you mean, Elsa?"

"My magic. What if I can't control it yet?"

"Elsa, please sit up straight. You're slouching, see?"

I straightened my back. "I mean, I don't know if I'll be able to keep my secret...well, a secret."

Mama smiled at me encouragingly, her compassion shining as usual through her pale blue eyes. "Of course you will, Elsa. By the time you become Arendelle's queen, you will have full control of your ability. I promise."

"And what if I don't?"

Mama paused and looked past me, putting a slender finger on her chin and sighing. "Well, Elsa," she replied, "the way I see it, there are two different ways this could turn out. And it all depends what you decide to do, and which kind of person you choose to become. On one hand, you could choose to endanger the kingdom by revealing your powers. I'm sorry, Elsa, but no matter how easy it may seem, nothing good will come out of it." She looked past the wall, at a future that she never hoped would happen. Then she turned back to me. "Or, you could be the good girl that you always have been, and keep the kingdom safe by hiding your powers from everyone." She took my gloved hands in hers, a note of urgency in her kind eyes. "Please, Elsa. Be a good girl. You must always be the good girl. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mama. I understand."

* * *

Meanwhile, Papa would visit me in the afternoons, or in the evenings if he was too busy with work. He would teach me how to control my ability - a task that was just as difficult for him to teach as it was for me to learn. Papa was a king, not a magician. When it came to my powers, he was just as in the dark as I was. But he tried his best to help me through it all. "Conceal it, don't feel it," he would say to me. Although his strategy was only making things worse, he was only doing what he thought was best for me. And it must have tortured him to see his daughter suffering like this; I could see the pain in his eyes every time I lost control. But he always put on a brave face, and never gave up. That's what I admired about him. No matter how many times he saw his hard work go to waste, he stuck by my side and refused to give up on me, even though I myself had already done so countless times.

On top of all that, Anna kept visiting my room. Every day, she would excitedly run over to my door and knock excitedly, asking me to play. I loved hearing the sound of her voice; it was the only thing that held me together during my miserable time in confinement. Although she always stayed outside my door, her comforting presence was like a constant companion that gave me a shred of hope for the future. Her question always remained the same. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" But every time she asked that, I had to choke back tears. It was the same question she had asked me that fateful autumn night, before I struck her. It was difficult to think of that night, especially when her requests to play constantly reminded me of it. But it was even more difficult to say no to her every time. Nothing wounded me more deeply than being forced to shut out my own sister.

"Of course I want to build a snowman," I nearly said on more than one occasion, "Come on, let's go outside." But no. I simply couldn't play with her. It was for the best, I tried to convince myself. This way, Anna would be safe from me and my powers. But in hindsight, I now realize that in dashing her hopes like that, I was hurting her more deeply than my powers ever could. Every time I said no, I felt like a little part of me died away. Her visits were becoming as much of a curse as they were a blessing. I thought that after being shunned for so long, she would eventually give up on me. But if there was one thing about my little sister, it was that she was incredibly stubborn. No matter how many times I sent her away, she would always come bounding back the next day, full of optimism. She was motivated by the hope that I would one day leave my room and become her best friend once more.

But as the years passed, that hope seemed to drift farther and farther away. The idea of me leaving my room became something of a fantasy to her, an impossible future that she could only experience in her mind. And so, her visits became less frequent. Instead of daily, she started visiting every other day. Then twice a week. Then every other week. It was a gradual process, but the two of us were growing further apart. Our strained relationship showed itself in the way she spoke. The enthusiasm that was in her voice whenever she asked me to play was slowly dying away. It was as if she expected me to say no to her. Poor Anna. She had been abandoned by her only friend, and she had no one else to turn to, as the castle gates were shut. The worst part, though, was that she had no idea why I was being so cold towards her. Whenever she asked, Papa and Mama would brush the question aside or change the subject. The servants, too, were under strict orders to keep my magic a secret from Anna. I could only guess what sort of misguided theories were forming in her young mind. Perhaps she thought I didn't love her, that I somehow didn't want to be with her anymore. As the years passed, and Anna started keeping her distance from me, I wanted nothing more than to run out of my room and hold her in my arms once more, assuring her that what I felt was precisely the opposite.

As for me, I tried my absolute hardest to control my powers. "Conceal it, don't feel it," I would say by myself, repeating Papa's words to me, "don't let it show." But I felt like the more I tried to suppress my powers, the more difficult it became. My ability was linked to my emotions. Whenever I laughed or cried, I would feel the familiar icy feeling build in my heart and spread up my limbs, threatening to release itself. So I figured that in order to suppress my powers, I would have to suppress my emotions as well. I tried to be ice cold, showing nothing, feeling nothing. But it was no use. There was just too much fear and self-doubt. The hope I once held, which told me that I would live a normal life someday, was dying fast. With every passing day, my heart grew heavier, and my powers became stronger and more uncontrollable. Sometimes I would wake up from a terrible nightmare (which started happening more often as the years passed) to find my sheets covered in frost. Or after refusing to play with Anna, I would sometimes freeze the wall or floor unwittingly.

* * *

I remember one particular incident when things really got out of hand. I was already twelve years old. I had already been living in my room for four years. I was sitting on my bed, staring at the wall in complete boredom. To keep myself from going crazy, I grabbed the nearest book I could find - which turned out to be an ordinary geometry schoolbook - and started leafing through its pages. It was surprisingly interesting. I found myself engrossed in perimeters and areas when I suddenly heard a knock at the door. Immediately, I knew who was on the other side.

"Elsa?" said Anna. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself, eagerly soaking in the sound of her voice. I hadn't heard it in weeks. "Hey, Elsa. It's me again. Hey, I bet you're wondering what I've been doing for the past few weeks!" I didn't respond. It had already become a routine between us; she would stay at my door and tell me about her life, while I would just sit and listen. After finding herself met with my usual silence, Anna continued speaking. "I think some company is overdue. Wouldn't you agree?" More silence. "But there really isn't anyone to talk to here in the castle. Mama and Papa seem to be a lot less talkative. And the servants can't seem to carry on a conversation without having to 'get back to work.' Can you believe it? But I've found a few friends. They're not the most talkative people, but they're pretty cool. They live in the art room. There's Mona, Adam, and - my personal favorite - Joan. You should meet them sometime! Y'know, when you're not busy doing...whatever it is you do in your room."

I giggled to myself as I realized that Anna's "friends" were just the pictures that hung in the castle's art gallery. But at the same time, I couldn't help but feel immensely sorry for her. Was this how lonely she had become? So desperate for companionship, that she had started talking to the pictures on the wall? At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to go out and wrap my sister in a tight hug. But even that simple act would expose my secret. She would only have to touch my ice-cold skin to know that something was wrong with me. I started sobbing as I realized that I couldn't even embrace my own sister anymore. Although I tried to be as quiet as possible, Anna must have heard me somehow. She tentatively knocked on my door. "Elsa? Are you alright?" I didn't respond. "Did I say something to hurt you? I'm sorry, Elsa. But hey, I think I know what'll make you feel better!" I braced myself - this was always the hardest part. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" I looked out the window; sure enough, it was snowing outside, the perfect weather for building a snowman. But instead of saying no to her, I just sat hunched on my bed, wiping my wet eyes with the back of my hand.

After thirty seconds of silence, I heard Anna sigh as her footsteps receded back down the hallway. After making sure she was out of earshot, I buried my face in my hands and cried. It was just so unfair! It wasn't my fault I had these powers. Why did it have to be me, of all people? I couldn't even control my abilities. Why couldn't someone else have had them? Someone who would have more use for them, perhaps. Like a soldier, or an ice harvester. Not a princess. These powers were only tearing my life apart! I couldn't spend time with my family, I couldn't go outside, I couldn't even hug my sister when she felt lonely. I was just...trapped. Forever consigned to a life of solitude, confined in my room until the day I die. The thought of living my entire life here sent a shiver up my spine.

And then, I screamed. I didn't care who heard me, or what would happen. I just...lashed out. At the world. At myself. At everything and everyone I ever knew. Anger, frustration, and sadness all came out at once. I felt cold and empty all over. And then, silence. Absolute silence. I slowly opened my eyes...and saw a large patch of ice on the wall on the other side of the room. Immediately, my heart jumped. Was that me? Did I do that? After catching my breath, I tentatively got off my bed and approached the wall. I ran my hand on the patch of ice, inspecting it with wide eyes. It formed a distinct pattern on the wall, several spikes jutting out from a single point - much like a snowflake. And it was large, too. Larger than anything else I had previously created. It covered the entire lower half of the wall. Before this, I hadn't known how powerful my abilities had become. I had been suppressing them for years. But as I gazed with horror at the frozen wall in front of me, I suddenly realized that no one around me was safe.

"Elsa!" came Papa's voice from outside. My head whipped towards the door as Papa and Mama burst into the room, panicked expressions on their faces. "Are you alright?" asked Papa, "We heard screaming, and-" He turned towards the frozen wall, and his eyes went wide. Mama put a hand to her mouth and gasped. "Oh my God," Papa slowly muttered under his breath.

"Elsa?" Mama said, "Wh...what happened?"

"I'm scared," I said, brushing the question aside, "it's getting stronger!"

Papa regained his composure, trying to be strong. "Getting upset only makes it worse. Calm down." He knelt down and tried to hug me.

Immediately, I recoiled from him. "No! Don't touch me!" Papa stood back up, his face full of surprise and grief. "I don't want to hurt you," I explained to him. But even then, I could see the sadness in his eyes. Mama, on the brink of tears, put a hand on Papa's shoulder and looked at me mournfully.

"We understand, Elsa," Papa said.

After that day, Mama and Papa never touched me again.


	8. Long Live the King

I thought my life had reached an all-time low. I thought nothing worse could possibly happen to me anymore. I was horribly, horribly wrong.

I knelt on the ground, holding my sister's body in my arms. My cold, half-dead sister. With what little strength she had left, she looked me in the eye and weakly put an icy hand on my cheek. And she smiled. She didn't cry, she didn't panic, she just looked at me with the most peaceful expression...and smiled.

"It's okay, Elsa," she whispered through unsteady breaths, "you didn't mean to do it..."

"No, Anna!" I practically screamed, though her face was just inches from mine, "You can't die...I won't let you! I won't let you...don't die, Anna...please..."

"Shh, shh," she replied, closing her eyes, "it's going to be alright. It'll be alright, Elsa." I knew she was trying to be strong for me. Instead of doing the same for her, I buried my face in her chest and bawled miserably.

"Don't go, Anna...don't leave me alone," I whimpered into her tear-stained dress.

She coughed and put a hand on my head. "Hey Elsa?" she said, her voice growing weaker by the second.

"Yes, Anna?"

"Could you sing me a lullaby? Like the ones Mama used to sing at night. It...it'll make this...a lot easier."

Her final request. I nodded and paused to look once more at her beautiful face. Despite her current situation, her eyes shone with warmth, compassion, and...forgiveness. Her pale lips were weakly turned upwards in a smile. A smile that I wouldn't be seeing again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And then I sang. I didn't try to acknowledge the world around me as my sister drew closer to death with every passing second. I just focused on the singing, my weak, shaky voice echoing throughout the dark, empty room. The song was calm, peaceful. A lullaby that our Mama used to sing at night before we fell asleep. Here it was once more, falling onto the ears of my dying sister. It was the last time she would ever hear it.

Anna smiled and closed her eyes. Something stirred inside her chest, and then...she stopped breathing. Everything stood still. Nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat, and the sight of my dead sister. "Anna?" I put my hands on her shoulders, which sagged idly as her head lolled back. "Anna?!" No response. She only stared, through pale, closed eyelids, at the ceiling high above me, not moving. Not breathing. "No, please. Anna! Anna, please! No, Anna..." I buried my face in her chest and cried once more. I was all alone.

"Elsa," I heard a man's voice say beside me.

* * *

Immediately, I jolted awake.

Instinctively, my eyes darted to my bedsheets. I frowned as I wiped the sweat from my brow. Frozen again. Ten years of this, I thought, and things are still the same. Ten years of living in fear, solitude, and despair. Ten years of the same horrible dream, and I still fell for it every single time. It took me a while to realize that Mama and Papa were at my bedside, concerned expressions on their faces. I gasped in surprise. How much of my little episode did they see?

Papa spoke before I could explain himself. He looked like he had other things on his mind. "Sorry to wake you up so early," he began.

"Is something wrong, Papa?" I asked, looking at the clock that hung on the wall. 5:45, it read. Why did my parents wake me up at this time?

"Your father and I have some...important news," Mama said softly. "We need you to listen carefully, Elsa."

I rubbed my eyes and sat up straight, hugging my knees. Whatever they had to say, couldn't they have waited until a later time?

Mama and Papa looked at each other, each of them silently urging the other to speak first. Finally, Papa cleared his throat and reached out to put a hand on my shoulder. I instinctively flinched away before he could touch me, and he put his hand back down. "We were recently invited to an event. A wedding, to be exact." He sighed, trying to find the right words. "The princess of one of Arendelle's closest allies is getting married. And we were asked to show up in person."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Your father and I will be gone for a while," Mama said, "we will be at her wedding ceremony."

Now that caught my attention. I sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling wide awake. "How long?" I asked, noticing a small tone of urgency in my voice.

Mama and Papa looked at each other apologetically. They were keeping something from me.

"How long?" I repeated, the stress in my voice slowly building.

"Two weeks," Papa said, "we'll be gone for two weeks."

The news hit me like a speeding train. I put a hand to my head and moaned, feeling faint all of a sudden. "Elsa?" Mama said, "Elsa, are you all right?"

I took a few deep breaths and fought the churning feeling in my chest. "Why...why can't you stay here?" I asked after gathering my scattered thoughts.

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Papa replied sadly, "Corona has been one of our closest allies for as long as I could remember. If their princess is getting married, your mother and I must attend the ceremony. I'm sorry, Elsa."

"But I...I..." were the only words that came out of my mouth. They couldn't be leaving me alone now, could they? Not while I was still unable to control my powers. My training was still incomplete; I needed my parents more than ever.

Mama leaned down to kiss my head, but pulled back at the last second, deciding against it. "You will be all right," she said sweetly, though I could tell she was suffering inside, "your father and I will only be gone for a couple of weeks. We'll be back before you know it, Elsa."

"Well, what am I supposed to do until then?" I asked, noticing how badly my voice was shaking.

"Your powers can be controlled," Papa said, "we wouldn't leave you alone if we knew you couldn't handle them by yourself. Just hang in there until we get back. Elsa, I know you can do it." The frosting on my bedsheets told me otherwise. I wanted to object, to say something to keep them close by. But I could only sit on the bed, speechless. How was I ever going to manage?

After they left my room, I couldn't go back to sleep. I spent a good deal of the day pacing back and forth, restless with anticipation. Throughout my life, Mama and Papa had never left me alone for more than a day. They had been my constant (and only) companions for the past ten years. And now here they were, about to leave for Corona of all places, leaving me to fend for myself for two weeks. Two whole weeks! I felt like I wasn't yet ready to be left by myself like this.

* * *

That evening, I stood in the Great Hall. Mama and Papa had given me permission to leave my room to say goodbye - a rare privilege. I curtsied politely as Mama and Papa picked up their bags, preparing to load them onto the carriage. "Do you have to go?" I asked uneasily, though I very well knew the answer.

"You'll be fine, Elsa," Papa said as he and Mama smiled reassuringly. Despite his kind words, I was disinclined to believe him.

"Are you ready, your Majesty?" asked Kai, one of our servants, as he threw the last of Papa's bags onto the carriage. "Let's go."

Mama and Papa boarded the carriage, and before I knew it, they were heading out of the castle gates. I waved goodbye as their figures receded into the distance, a black silhouette against the orange sky. Soon they would be boarding a ship, and sailing out of sight. As the castle gates were shut once more, blocking out the sight of my parents, silence filled the world around me. Nothing but the sound of my own breathing. _I'm all alone,_ I realized with heartbreaking clarity. Mama and Papa were gone. There was no one left to turn to.

Before I could dwell too much on the thought, I turned around and walked briskly down the castle halls, heading back to my room. I wanted to catch one last glimpse of them before they left for good. As I pensively made my way down the dimly lit hallway, I came across a young lady, and brushed past her without a second thought. It took a second glance backwards for me to recognize her. And when I did, I stifled a gasp, unable to keep my eyes off her.

It was Anna. My sister, who I had been shutting out for years, right before my eyes. But she looked...different. She was no longer the innocent girl who wanted to build a snowman. Now she was a lovely young lady, fifteen years of age. Her face, which I remembered as chubby and innocent, was shapelier and more developed. She had grown her hair out, long enough to form two long braids that were draped over each of her shoulders. Her frame was taller and more slender, too - very becoming of a princess her age. But her eyes. Those bright, blue eyes that had always been so entrancing. They still held the same wonder that they contained thirteen years ago, when she was but a little girl. Even now, as she looked at me with caution, I could still see in her the playful little girl she had once been.

As I stood in the hallway, staring at Anna, I realized, at that moment, how much of her life I had missed out on. How many events, birthdays, and first-time experiences she had - all without me. Ten whole years had passed between us. Not that I hadn't seen her during my years of seclusion. I did leave my room once or twice. Sometimes I would even encounter my sister. But I would always walk right by her without a word, not even bothering to make eye contact with her. Now, finally being able to see her up close and personal like this, I was struck speechless. What was she thinking, I wondered? Was she still confident that we would be reconciled? Or was she now full of bitter resentment, after having been shunned for so long?

As she stared at me with wide eyes, it slowly dawned on me that this was probably the first time she had gotten a good look at the older me. It probably took a while for her to recognize me, too. "Elsa?" she asked warily, her quiet voice faintly echoing down the hallway.

"Anna..." I replied before I could stop myself, "I..."

Immediately, Anna perked up, her eyes suddenly filled with optimism, as if she didn't expect me to respond. To be honest, I didn't expect myself to respond, either. The words sort of just...tumbled out. There was so much I wanted to say. But as I stood anxiously in front of my sister, I noticed something strange in her hair. I looked closer and realized that it was the white streak that had formed when I hit her with my powers. That was so long ago, yet the white stripe remained, still as noticeable as ever. A constant reminder of my own failure. I turned around and shut my eyes, suddenly unable to look my sister in the face.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said, "please excuse me." I continued walking down the hallway, turning away from Anna. Before rounding the corner, I stole one last glance backwards, only to see the sight of my sister, standing alone and heartbroken in the dark hallway, the same way she had been when I first shut her out.

As I slipped back into my room, I mentally kicked myself for saying nothing to my sister. There was actually so much I wanted to tell her! More than what could be said in a few words. _I'm sorry for shutting you out of my life. I'm sorry for keeping secrets from you. I'm sorry for forcing you into a life of solitude and loneliness, all because of my mistake!_ But it was too late. Whatever I wanted to say to her, I couldn't go back out there anymore. I had my chance, and I let it slip between my fingers.

I stared out the triangular window, trying to distract myself from what could have been. There was just too much emotion attached to the thought of my sister. As my eyes scanned the orange horizon, I caught sight of a great ship, sailing off into the distance. It was my parents' ship, heading out of Arendelle's fjord. Soon enough, they would be sailing through the vast ocean, heading for Corona. "Be safe," I whispered. Even after the ship sailed out of sight and into the great ocean beyond, I stayed in front of my window, absentmindedly staring at Arendelle's village square, sprawled out in front of me. I watched Arendelle's citizens, tiny figures that littered the streets, exchanging friendly greetings, ready to go back home after another day of hard work. I sighed wistfully. Though I was their princess, they all had something I didn't have. Not riches, nor power, nor fame. They had freedom. They could do whatever they pleased, and go wherever they wanted. Me, I was forever confined in this castle, unable to step foot outside. I slowly turned around surveyed my room, my prison for the past ten years. As my eyes scanned over the familiar walls, a new sense of loneliness rose within me. Before, I was secluded from the world, without a single friend. But at least I had my parents. They were always there to support and encourage me. But now, they were gone. My parents were leaving me to fend for myself for two weeks. Now, I was truly alone.

* * *

The next few days went by at a painfully slow pace. Every day, I would ask Kai for news concerning my parents. His answer would always remain the same. "I'm sorry, your Highness," he said, "but no news from Corona has arrived yet. If we hear anything about the King and Queen, we will let you know immediately, I promise."

And so I waited. But no information came came. With each passing day, I could feel my anxiety growing higher. The promised news didn't arrive until six days later. It would turn out to be the most devastating news I would ever hear in my life.

Now, you really must excuse me if I seem a bit...distracted during this next part. This is when things get hard for me.

It was an otherwise peaceful night. The stars twinkled like snowflakes in the vast, peaceful sky. I was sitting on my bed, alone as always. The quiet room was illuminated only by the flickering light of a single candle as I skimmed over my old geometry book, which I had already read cover-to-cover countless times. I was just about to nod off when a knock came at my door. I groaned to myself; who would be visiting me at this time? Getting out of bed, I yawned and trudged sleepily to the door.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's, um...it's Kai, your Highness," came a shaky voice on the other side. It was strange; usually Kai spoke with such confidence. After years of working for my father, Kai had learned to adopt his sure tone, his commanding quality of speech. But now, he sounded unsure of himself. Curious, I opened the door. Sure enough, Kai was on the other side. He stood tall and proud, and his hands were clasped stiffly in front of him. Unusually formal, for this time of night. And then I noticed his eyes. They had pink circles around them. Had he been...crying?

"Sorry to wake you, Princess Elsa," he said, regaining the formality in his voice.

"No, it's all right," I replied, "And you can relax. You don't need to be so...formal at a time like this."

Kai let out a breath and let his shoulders sag just the slightest bit. He probably didn't even realize that he had been standing so stiffly. He didn't waste a second more. "Your Highness, I have some very important news for you. It concerns your parents."

My heart jumped. Finally, after five agonizing days, some news! "What is it?" I asked, a little too excitedly than I had intended.

Kai paused and looked into my room. He held up an arm towards my bed. "I think it's best that you sit down, your Highness."

"No," I said hurriedly, "I'll be fine, thank you." I just wanted to hear this important news. Then, realizing how tense I had suddenly become, I cleared my throat and straightened my back. "Please," I continued, "say what you have to."

Kai bit his lip, unable to decide how to begin. Then, he cleared his throat and spoke, slowly but surely. "Princess Elsa, your parents were expected to arrive at Corona four days ago. But a full day had passed since their departure, and they still hadn't turned up. At first, no one thought much of it; we thought they simply running late. Perhaps they ran into bad weather. As the days passed, we anxiously waited for word from Corona confirming your parents' arrival. But no such news arrived. Eventually, we started fearing the worst. Now, five days have already passed since their supposed arrival, and, well, we've started to think, maybe..." His voice trailed off, as he was unable to form the right words. My heart coiled tightly as I finally realized what he was about to say.

A dreadful silence hung in the air between us. Kai stood at the doorway, stumbling over his own words, as I tried to fight the cold feeling that had suddenly built up in my chest.

After what seemed like hours, Kai continued. "Look, your Highness, what I'm trying to say is that the king and queen...your parents...have died at sea. I am terribly sorry, Princess Elsa."

I felt like a knife had just been thrust into my chest. Kai kept speaking, though I could no longer hear what he was saying. In fact, I couldn't hear anything. Just a dull ringing in my ears, and the rapid beating of my own heart. Blurry shapes framed my vision; I felt detached from reality, like I was watching everything from afar. My parents were..._dead?_ I couldn't wrap my head around the news. _No,_ I thought to myself, _they're not dead. They can't be. They said they'll be back!_ But even as I thought this, I could feel tears build up behind my eyes. My knees suddenly felt heavy. As I heard someone's breathing - my own? - grow heavier, I stumbled backwards, away from Kai, and collapsed onto the floor. Kai went wide-eyed and yelled something down the hallway.

"Gerda! Somebody! Please, help!" I heard him cry as soon as I regained my grip on reality.

"No!" I called out to him, "I'm all right. I'm fine."

Kai looked at me with a mixture of pity and concern. I would have been embarrassed to be seen like this, if I wasn't so badly shaken. "Your Highness," Kai said, his eyes full of empathy, "I wish there was something I could do." But I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. I just stared past Kai and at the wall beyond, a storm of thoughts whirling around in my aching head. Kai stood at the doorway, waiting to see if I needed any further attention. Seeing that I didn't, he said "Good night, Princess Elsa," and left, quietly closing the door behind him.

And then I was alone in the darkness of my room. I sat against the wall, hugging my knees and staring at the floor with cold, empty eyes.

They were dead. My parents were dead. I struggled with the thought. How could they leave me like this? How could they be taken away from me at the worst possible time? I didn't even get to say goodbye to them. "Do you have to go?" were my last words to them. They probably never knew it, but I always appreciated everything they did for me. No matter how much of a disappointment I had proven myself to be, they were always there for me, never giving up, never losing hope. Both of them had always been at my side, each of them helping me in different ways. Mama was always so caring and supportive. Not once did she ever lose her patience with me. With a gentle hand, she lovingly taught me how to rule the kingdom, confident that I would be able to leave my room and lead a normal life one day. No matter how many times I lost control, or how overwhelmed I may have felt, she always knew how to comfort me. And Papa - dear Papa - he was always a source of strength, a shoulder to lean on whenever I felt scared, lonely, or depressed. He taught me to be brave and independent, to dust my shoulders and keep walking whenever I fell. Both he and Mama loved me unconditionally, serving as beacons of hope in a hopeless world.

But now they were gone. They gave me my only remaining shred of faith in the world, and now they were gone. It was so unfair! I felt like a large part of me - a part that I held close to my heart - had just been cruelly wrenched from my grasp. There was no one else to confide in. No one left to share my pain, my sorrow, and my grief. I was all alone.

Sitting against the wall, I buried my face in my knees and wept, staining my silk nightgown with warm tears. Curled up on the floor, I quietly cried myself to sleep, paying no attention to the white ice that was quickly spreading around the room.


	9. A Queen in the Making

The next day, the news was released. The citizens of Arendelle mourned the loss of their king and queen. Anna and I, however, mourned the loss of our parents.

I continued living in hiding, as if to respect the wishes of my late parents. Or perhaps it was to punish myself. Whichever the case, the fact remained that I spent my existence miserably confined in my room, isolated from the world. As the customary, week-long period of mourning passed, I made no attempt to control my powers. The hope that I would be able to control them (as well as the hope that I would be able to live a normal life) died along with my parents. I spent most of my time sitting alone in my room in a sort of trancelike state, detached from reality. I barely ate (much to the servants' worry) and spent my nights tossing and turning restlessly in bed.

Meanwhile, my sister was completely and utterly devastated by the news. She stopped visiting my room; in fact, for the next seven days, she never spoke to me. I figured she was shutting herself in her room, spending hours miserably crying in her bed. I know I was doing as much. The poor girl was barely managing to keep herself together; occasionally I would hear her walking down the hallway, barely managing to hold in sobs as she briskly passed by my room. I wanted, more than anything else, to go out and comfort her, to be the loving, caring sister I once was. But Papa's instructions rung ever so clearly in my mind: _Don't be alone with Anna._ Although I couldn't stand any of it, I stayed in my room, listening helplessly as Anna would break into tears, with no one to comfort her.

And then came the day of the funeral.

* * *

It was a cloudy morning. I was sitting on my bed, staring blankly at the layer of ice that permanently coated the walls, when a knock came at the door.

"Elsa?" came a shaky, broken voice on the other side. A voice I hadn't heard in a week. I slowly stood up and walked towards the door, if not just to hear the long overdue sound of my sister's voice. She continued, "Elsa, it's me, Anna. Listen, I honestly don't know what I did to hurt you. But whatever it was, could you please just put it behind you, at least for today? I need you to come out. It's our parents' funeral, Elsa. You loved them just as much as I did. Please, I can't do this without you. I need you, Elsa."

I stared at the door, wringing my hands uneasily. Of course I wanted to go; how could I miss out on my parents' funeral? They helped me through so much. I at least owed it to them to attend. But at the same time, it was simply unthinkable that I should leave the castle gates. I had been staying within the confines of my room for the past ten years. Could I really just ignore my parents' instructions, at least for today, and leave?

I stayed silent as I stood in front of the door, while Anna waited for me on the other side with open arms. My heart wanted me to go out and join my sister, but my mind was preventing me from doing so. I simply couldn't go out there, could I?

_No,_ I thought, drawing my hand back from the doorknob, _I can't._ I could practically see the scenario playing in my head. The citizens of Arendelle gathering around my parents' headstones, their heads bowed down in mourning. Anna eulogizing the king and queen, her voice broken, her eyes glazed with tears. Me on the sidelines, listening silently, struggling to hold everything - my emotions, my powers - inside myself. With the depressingly gloomy atmosphere, as well as the massive company of mournful citizens, it would only be a matter of time before I lose control of my powers in front of them. My darkest secret - the one my parents had worked so hard to hide - would be revealed. What would the people of Arendelle think? Even worse, what would Anna think? I simply couldn't risk ruining my life any more than I already had.

I was about to walk away from the door when something in me stirred. I stopped in my tracks and looked back at the door. My ticket to freedom. Yes, it was true that going to the ceremony meant I would be taking a huge risk - probably the biggest risk I had ever taken. But at the same time, I thought, wouldn't it be worth it, if it meant being with my sister again? Anna needed me, and although I didn't realize it at the time, I needed her as well. We were the only family left for each other. I simply couldn't leave her out there to fend for herself. Especially not now, when she needed me the most. No, I had to be to Anna what Mama and Papa were to me: a source of strength, a shoulder to lean on during times like this. Why did I have to keep hiding from her? I was all she had left. She needed me now, more than ever. I had to rise to the challenge. I had to be there for her.

_Yes,_ I thought, determined, _we'll pull through this tragedy together. I'm coming, Anna._

As I walked back to the door and put my hand on the doorknob, I took a deep breath, feeling my fears slowly flow out of me. As I slowly turned the doorknob, I felt a sense of freedom gradually rise in my chest. I felt like I was about to release a great burden - one I had carried for the past ten years. A grin spread across my face. It was time to let it all go.

"Anna!" I called out as I threw the door open.

But there was no one to respond. Where Anna had been just a few minutes earlier, there was nobody. Just me and the empty hall. I looked around. Where had she gone?

Just then, Gerda, one of the servants, rounded the corner, a broomstick in hand. "Princess Elsa?" she asked as soon as she caught sight of me. She looked surprised to see me, perhaps because I was outside my room. "Is something wrong, your Highness?"

"Um...where did Anna go?" I asked.

"Oh, she already left," Gerda replied as she started sweeping the floors.

"She...left?"

"For the funeral, your Highness. She said you didn't want to go, so she went without you."

"Oh," was all I managed to say before all my old misery started flowing back into me. I had spent too much time hesitating on my decision. Anna had mistaken my deliberation for refusal, and thought I didn't want to go. The poor girl was probably heartbroken, thinking she had no family left. My short-lived hopes were violently dashed before they could even be realized.

"Is something wrong, your Highness?" Gerda asked, after taking a few seconds to take in my expression.

"No," I replied quickly, "no, it's...it's all right." I slipped back into my room without saying another word, and there I stayed for the next few hours, deep in thought. Why did these things keep happening to me? Every time I tried to get back together with Anna, circumstances always prevented me from doing anything. Was it meant to be this way? Were we meant to be separated forever? Perhaps. And maybe it was for the best. That way, I wouldn't be able to hurt her again. I would never be able to forgive myself if that happened. For me to be the best sister I could, I had to protect Anna from the greatest danger in her life: myself. And to do that, I would have to keep my distance from her. I wouldn't like it one bit - and neither would she. And she would inevitably end up resenting me in the future. But it would be worth it, knowing I had protected my sister from myself and the dangerous force I had become.

* * *

Later that day, I sat against the door, silently weeping into the sleeves of my dress. Without warning, a knock came at the door. I didn't bother getting up to answer it. I knew who was on the other side.

"Elsa?" came my sister's voice on the other side, "Please, I know you're in there. Why didn't you come? Everyone was asking where you were, and..." I heard her voice crack. The poor girl was on the verge of tears. She cleared her throat and steadily continued, "Everybody's telling me to be strong. To get up and keep walking. But...but it's too hard, Elsa. I just...I can't pull through anymore. Especially when you're shutting me out like this. Please, let me in. Let me be a part of your life again. With our parents gone, and you shutting me out like this, I feel like...like there's nothing left for me anymore. We only have each other now. What are we going to do, Elsa?" I heard her slide to the floor and sit against the door opposite me. She sniffled a few times as I wiped tears from my own eyes.

Then, as her voice wilted into sobs, she whispered, more to herself than anyone, "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

And at that moment, more clearly than ever, I remembered everything - the childhood Anna and I spent together. When she and I would play in the sunlit ballroom, build snowmen, go sledding, and skate on the ice. When we were the best of friends, running around the castle and into the loving arms of our dear parents. We were so happy back then. What happened? What went wrong along the way? I slowly looked up at the frozen mess that was my room. Ice covered everything - the walls, ceiling, windows, and floor - while snowflakes hung completely still in the air, suspended solely by my own grief. _How could things possibly get this awful?_ Overwhelmed by the disastrous mess my life had become, I hugged my knees, bowed my head, and wept silently.

"Of course, Anna," I whispered inaudibly through my tears, "of course I want to build a snowman."


	10. Coronation

**Hola! TariaNalu here! Sorry if this chapter took a bit long to post. I'm kinda working on making my chapters longer, so there'll be a bit of a time gap between new chapters. But hey, longer chapters = more reading material, so it's not all bad, right?**

**Anyway, don't forget to write a review! Since I'm new to the FanFiction community, your feedback means a lot to me. That's all, bye!**

* * *

The frigid room was silent. Peaceful. Nothing but the sound of my own breathing. The sun was barely beginning to rise over the horizon, adding a faint, pink tint to the navy-blue sky. I took a deep breath and allowed a small grin to make its way onto my face. It was times like these - when I could be completely and totally alone, with no one to disturb me - that I felt some small semblance of serenity. _Perhaps I should try living on my own for a while,_ I thought, taking in the calm atmosphere.

And then came company. "Princess Elsa?" _Knock knock knock._ "Princess Elsa, it's me, Kai."

Ah, the wake-up call. I wasn't sure why I kept that order effective. I liked my beauty rest. And today, of all days, I would have preferred to stay in bed, and perhaps even hide under the covers. But as it was, I was already awake, standing stiffly in front of the window, watching the sleepy town of Arendelle wake up as the sun peeked from the horizon. I had actually gotten up three hours earlier; I was unable to sleep out of apprehension for what the future had in store. And today, I knew I would have to face a challenge greater than anything else I had ever faced in my life.

Kai knocked again. "Princess Elsa? It's time to get up. Today's the big day, your Highness! The day of your coronation!"

I scowled; Kai didn't need to remind me what was in store for me today. I had already been fearing this day for years. Ever since my parents died three years ago, I knew that the day I turn twenty-one would be the day I would be crowned as Arendelle's queen. And I knew that when that day comes, I would have to open up the castle gates, come out of hiding, and mingle with a whole host of people, from politicians to citizens. Don't get me wrong, I had no doubts about my abilities as a queen; Mama taught me quite well. But the real problem lay in my powers. For the first time in forever, the royal gates of Arendelle would be open to the public. I would be surrounded by thousands of people, and I had to conceal my powers from every single one of them.

"Gerda and the others are waiting for you in the washroom," said Kai, "They're going to help you prepare for the big day ahead of you. We better get going, the citizens are already gathering up at the gates!"

"Right," I responded through the door, "Tell Gerda I'll be right over. Oh, and if my sister isn't awake in an hour, would you mind waking her up? You know how she can sleep through anything."

"Of course, your Highness," Kai replied before walking back down the hallway, perhaps to prepare the festivities for the upcoming celebration.

I slowly opened my bedroom door and peeked into the hallway before making my way to the washroom. As soon as I entered, I was greeted by a team of female servants, who started clapping politely at the sight of their soon-to-be queen. Gerda walked forward and put both her hands on my shoulders.

"Ah, at last!" she said, "Little Princess Elsa is going to be Arendelle's queen! My, look at you. You've certainly grown. You're so beautiful...if only your parents could see you now." She paused for a while, then continued, "Now, let's get you all fixed up, shall we?" I could tell, from the looks on the servants' faces, that they were excited to have the castle gates open once again. I didn't blame them, but I silently wished they would have acted a little...calmer.

"Let's get started!" one of the younger servants squealed as she ripped my nightgown off me (and when I say ripped, I do say so quite literally) and nearly shoved me into a wooden tub of steaming water, mixed with sweet-smelling perfumes. I was just beginning to enjoy my morning bath when I was suddenly assaulted on all sides by a flurry of brushes and cleansing sponges. The servants hummed a cheerful song as they nearly skinned me alive with their pumice stones, poured a bucket of water onto my hair, and pulled me out of the tub, wrapping a towel around my body. Before I could say anything, someone (probably the same servant from before) yanked the towel from my body. Two other servants swiftly took a corset and wrapped it around my torso, tightening it as far as it would possibly go. I could feel the air being squeezed out of me as the servants wrapped the cursed thing tighter around my body.

Gerda entered the room. Next to her, she had something, around a person's height, hidden under an elegant wrapping. Suddenly, everyone's attention was on Gerda. I took the opportunity to secretly loosen my corset just the slightest bit.

"Princess Elsa," Gerda announced, "may I present to you...your coronation dress!" She pulled away the wrapping and revealed a tailor's dummy, wearing one of the most beautiful dresses I had ever seen. I put my hand to my mouth in surprise, staring at the dress in astonishment. It was a beautiful, teal dress with long, black sleeves and gorgeous bronze lacings. Elegant, swirling patterns adorned the bodice and skirt. The dress gave off an aura of beauty, power, and majesty, all rolled up into one.

"That's...for me?" I asked in disbelief. I couldn't believe something so lovely was meant to be mine.

"Of course!" Gerda replied, "We had this made just for you. It was fashioned after your mother's old dress. Do you like it?"

I put a hand to my chest, touched that the servants would go through so much trouble to make me look my best. "It's...it's so beautiful," I replied, "Thank you so much, Gerda."

"Oh, it's no problem at all, your Highness," she replied, "but you can stop your staring now. It'll look a thousand times better when you're wearing it." And with that, the servants continued with their excited chatter. They carefully took the dress off the tailor's dummy and put it on me without hesitation. Before I could look at myself in the mirror, I was promptly set down on a wooden stool. The servants brushed, twisted, and pulled my hair this way and that, applying makeup to my face at the same time. I have to admit, I may have gotten a little caught up in the excitement as well. It had been thirteen years since I had spoken to anyone. It felt nice, if not a little awkward, to take part in social interaction once again.

As soon as the servants were done with my hair and makeup, they stood back and beckoned me to see how I looked. I got up and walked to the mirror. As soon as I saw my reflection, I couldn't help but gasp. The woman in the mirror, the one staring back at me, was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. My platinum blonde hair was fixed up in an elegant twisted updo, not unlike the one that my mother used to have. I looked tall, poised, and regal - not at all like the scared young woman who had spent her life hiding in her room. The servants excitedly monitored my reaction as I simply stared at the mirror, awestruck. "Th-thank you," I stammered, "I...I look beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it, your Highness!" replied Gerda, "Now, before we finish, there's just one last thing." With that, she produced a large, magenta-colored cape that immediately took up half the room's floorspace. It exuded power and dignity, the kind of beauty and authority that could only fit a true queen. Was I really supposed to wear it? I felt like I didn't deserve to put it on. Nonetheless, Gerda fastened the brooch around my neck without a second thought. "There we go," she said, "now you can call yourself a true queen of Arendelle."

I looked behind me and stared in awe at the magenta cape - a symbol of my power. It cascaded gracefully down my back and trailed three feet behind me. "Thank you, Gerda. This is so nice."

"You're welcome, your Highness," Gerda responded with a smile.

I dismissed the servants, allowing them to make further preparations for the upcoming festivities. But Gerda lingered behind, the excitement slowly leaving her face as the room emptied out. As soon as she and I were alone, she leaned forward and whispered in a serious tone, "Your Highness. I understand you may be a bit nervous today, due to your...secret. Your father entrusted us servants with this secret, and we have sworn to keep it hidden. It was our solemn promise to him. And to respect that promise, I had these made for you." She presented a small, black case and opened the lid. What I saw inside snapped me back to reality.

It was a pair of long, teal gloves, made to match my dress. More importantly, they were made to help me conceal my powers.

Immediately, the positive energy in me died away. I remembered why I had dreaded this day for years. I was going to be surrounded - touched, even - by thousands of people, all of them potential witnesses to my darkest secret. The only thing separating me from the wrath of an angry mob was this pair of gloves in front of me. Despite my attempts to appear calm, I must have looked absolutely terrified at that moment, because Gerda reached out to put a hand on my shoulder (though I drew away before she could). She sighed, put the gloves in my hands, whispered "Good luck" to me, and walked out of the room, leaving me alone and, once again, scared of what the future had in store.

* * *

I spent some time in the library, mentally preparing myself for the day.

_Get a hold of yourself,_ I thought as I sat restlessly on the couch, _It'll only be for one day. One day. Then it'll all be over._ I tried to take comfort in the thought. For a while, I thought my fears had been put down. But then another question came up: What would I do after I become queen? Would I continue hiding in my room, living the rest of my life in isolation? Or would my newfound duties force me to surround myself with people? I shuddered; both prospects were equally terrifying.

Outside the library door, I could hear Anna singing to herself as she ran excitedly down the halls, making no attempt to hide her eagerness. Honestly, I didn't blame her; for the first time in thirteen whole years, the castle gates would finally be opened. After spending her entire childhood without a friend in the world, Anna was finally getting the opportunity she deserved: a chance to talk with people from all over the world. Today was a much-needed break from a life of loneliness and despair. I only wished my spirits were as high as hers. But as it was, I had other things to worry about.

To distract myself from my troubles, I got up and walked to the window. I could see the lively town of Arendelle preparing its festivities; colorful banners hung from rooftops, while a maypole was erected in the town square. Citizens of all ages, dressed in their most formal attire, walked down the streets, chatting excitedly. Further out, I could see several ships pull into the harbor, proudly displaying flags from many different nations: Weselton, the Eastern and Southern Isles, Corona, Lancaster, Cordoba, Versaille, and a few more from the far Eastern nations. The streets were full of high spirits and lively chatter as everyone, denizens and foreigners alike, gathered at the castle gates. They were all just waiting for me to let them in.

I took a deep breath and tried to replay my parents' instructions to myself. "Be the good girl you always have to be," I said to myself out loud, remembering what Mama had told me eleven years ago. Then, remembering Papa, "Conceal, don't feel."

Eventually, the bright lights and the massive crowd gathered at the castle gates became too stressful for me to watch. I turned from the window and noticed the giant painting that hung on the opposite wall. It depicted my dear father, standing tall and regal - a true king. In his right hand, he held the royal scepter, while the sovereign's orb rested in his left. I had learned all about the coronation rite from Mama; I knew that I would have to bear these two objects during the ceremony, just like my ancestors did before me. But the only problem was, unlike them, I had icy magic that froze everything I touched. If I were to hold the orb and scepter with my bare hands, they would immediately freeze over, and my secret would be revealed.

_It's a good thing I have these gloves, _I thought, _But just in case..._

I took off my gloves and laid them on a table in front of me, noticing a candlestick and jewelry box nearby. _I might as well practice now, while no one is watching._ With my bare hands, I carefully picked up the two objects, imagining them to be the royal orb and scepter. After taking a deep breath, I slowly turned around and envisioned a crowd of hundreds watching me. Almost immediately, I felt the familiar, cold feeling build in my heart, then travel up my arms and into my hands. Reluctantly, I looked down and noticed that the jewelry box and candlestick were rapidly being consumed by ice. Gasping, I quickly set them on the table, frustrated with myself, but at the same time, scared. As I wrung my hands, I silently prayed that the events that had just transpired wouldn't repeat themselves during the actual ceremony. How would I be able to hide my secret from all those people, when I couldn't even hold the symbols of power? I started to despair that I would be able to make it through the day.

_Get a hold of yourself,_ I thought, _Remember, getting upset will only make it worse. Conceal, don't feel._ I took a deep breath as I nervously picked my gloves back up from the table. "It's only for today," I had to remind myself out loud. But even so, could I really make it through the day without letting my powers loose? The ever-building anxiety was giving me a headache. The uncertainty of the whole situation was causing me unwanted stress. It was agony to wait; pulling my gloves back on, I decided it was time. I drew the library doors open and stepped into the hallway, where a crowd of servants was waiting for me.

"Tell the guards to open up the gates!" I ordered.

The servants looked at each other with eager smiles on their faces before rushing to the gates, chattering excitedly. As I walked by myself down the silent hallways, I could hear the deep groan of the castle's gates being opened. At last, after thirteen years, the kingdom of Arendelle was finally opening its gates to the public. Through the castle walls, I was able to hear the crowd's muffled cheering as hundreds of citizens flooded into the courtyard, all of them waiting for me. As I slowly approached the balcony, the sound gradually grew louder. I stood in front of the doorway, taking some time to calm my nerves. I put my shaking hands on the doorknobs and took a deep breath, remembering the advice Mama had given me all those years ago. _Be the good girl you always have to be._

And then, before I had time to form any regrets, I threw the double doors open. Immediately, sunlight flooded into the dark room, and the muffled sound of the crowd's cheering turned into full-scale applause. For full second, I froze in place as the cold feeling in my chest rapidly escalated. After managing to push it down, I nervously stepped onto the balcony, momentarily shielding my eyes from the intense sunlight that shone on my face. I bit my lip as I eyed the large crowd spread out before me. "It's the queen!" I heard one man yell. Immediately, everyone's eyes fell upon me. I gulped. What was I supposed to do? _Conceal, don't feel...don't let them know._ Despite the churning feeling in my stomach, I forced a weak smile and feebly waved to the crowd, causing the applause to grow even louder.

As my eyes scanned over the vast ocean of people laid out below me, I noticed a lone figure running out of the castle gates. I immediately recognized her. There was only one person in the world who would think of _leaving_ the castle at this time. I watched, smiling, as my sister ran into the village square, taking in the sights and sounds of the outside world. Even from up in the balcony, I could tell that she looked absolutely beautiful. Her strawberry red hair was fixed in an elegant updo, and she was wearing a lovely green ball dress. Then, I frowned as I remembered my current situation. I took a deep breath and renewed the smile on my face.

_It's time to put on a show,_ I thought as I waved to the vast crowd below me.

* * *

The church was filled with the gentle sound of choral music. It did nothing to soothe my nerves, however.

Behind my impassive facade, I desperately fought a grueling battle against the icy feeling in my chest. As I walked down the aisle, I tried focusing instead on the world around me. In front of me, the bishop led the coronation procession, followed immediately by a group of knights. And then there was me, doing everything I could to keep myself together. Behind me, Anna followed closely, holding up my cape so it wouldn't drag on the wooden floor. I looked to the side and scanned over the church's pews, filled to maximum capacity by citizens and dignitaries.

As I stepped onto the ornately decorated altar, I felt everyone's eyes on me. To distract myself, I tried running through the ceremony's schedule in my head. For the most part, I would only have to stand here and look pretty while the bishop conducts the ceremony. When the time comes, I would have to take the royal oath, which Mama had made me memorize forward and backward (and thank goodness for that - in my current state, I probably would have forgotten the words), then take up the symbols of power - the crown, the sovereign's orb, and the royal scepter - as the bishop appoints me as Queen of Arendelle. _Simple enough,_ I told myself, _that is, as long as I don't freeze anything..._

The bishop and I stood on the altar as the choral music drew to a close. Then, the bishop cleared his throat and loudly announced, "My dear brothers and sisters, we are here today to celebrate the coronation of our beloved queen, Elsa of Arendelle..."

As the ceremony carried on, I found myself zoning out. I was focusing instead on concealing my powers. The icy feeling in my chest wasn't subsiding, no matter how hard I tried to push it down. As I grew more anxious, my abilities came closer to reaching the surface. And the closer my magic got to externalizing itself, the more nervous I became. It was a hopeless cycle that I was barely managing to keep in check. But how long would I be able to keep it up? As everyone's eyes were fixated on me, I could feel my control slowly slipping away...

I was abruptly snapped to attention when the bishop looked at me expectedly, eyeing me as if I were supposed to do something. I realized that I was supposed to recite the royal oath. _Focus,_ I thought, silently berating myself for getting distracted, _don't let it show._ I quickly dug through my brain for the oath that Mama had taught me all those years ago; it had been three years since I had last rehearsed it. Then, after taking a deep breath, I raised my right hand and began, "I, Elsa of Arendelle, hereby solemnly swear, in sickness and in health, to govern the people and territories of Arendelle..."

As soon as I finished the oath, the bishop presented the royal crown - an intricately designed golden tiara adorned with a single, blue gem. I bowed down and closed my eyes as the bishop slipped the crown onto my head. Opening my eyes, I straightened up; at last, I was a true queen of Arendelle. Yet, the crown felt cold and unfamiliar on my head. It was almost as if I was never meant to wear it.

After placing the crown on my head, the bishop presented the sovereign's orb and royal scepter, resting atop a green velvet pillow. I took a deep breath. _This is it,_ I thought, _the last step. I'm almost finished._ I reached for the royal objects, but the bishop cleared his throat, interrupting me.

"Your Majesty," he whispered, subtly pointing his eyes towards my hands, "the gloves."

For a full second, I froze in place, remembering why I had dreaded this moment in particular. If there was one time for me to mess up and accidentally reveal my powers to everyone, it would be now. I remembered what had happened in the library, when I tried to pick up the candlestick and jewelry box with my bare hands. As I reluctantly slipped my gloves off, I silently prayed that what happened in the library wouldn't happen again here in the cathedral.

I nervously placed both my gloves on the pillow. The feeling of the warm air flowing over my bare hands felt strange and unpleasant; it made me feel naked and vulnerable. I stared at the symbols of power, hesitant to pick them up. Could I really do it? Could I really make it to the end of the ceremony without revealing my powers? I felt like running out at that moment, like escaping would somehow solve all my problems. But I could practically feel everyone's eyes trained on me, counting on me. I decided to take the risk. _Conceal, don't feel._ I sucked in a breath and reached for the orb and scepter. I could see my own pale hands shaking as I unsteadily picked up the symbols of power. Then I turned around to face the crowd, just like in the library. Only this time, the people watching me were very much real; if I were to mess up this time, a crowd of hundreds would be present to see it. I held my breath as the congregation stood up to acknowledge my coronation. The bishop started reciting the official declaration in Old Norse. This was the most important part of the ceremony - when the bishop was to call upon the power of Heaven itself to appoint me as queen of an entire nation. But to be honest, I didn't pay attention to anything he was saying. I was focusing all my attention and energy on suppressing my powers. But despite my efforts, I felt the familiar cold sensation build up in my chest and travel down my arms, concentrating itself in my hands. My stomach lurched as I unwillingly looked down at the symbols of power.

Ice was slowly forming on the orb and scepter, threatening to consume them from the bottom up.

My heart nearly skipped a beat. Time seemed to stand still. _No,_ I thought, _please, no! Not now!_ I drew in a sharp breath as the bishop continued speaking. With every passing second, the ice was getting closer to consuming the symbols of power, and revealing my secret. I stared straight ahead, scared to see the reaction of the crowd. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I couldn't take it anymore. Not caring whether or not the bishop was finished speaking, I hastily turned around and set the royal objects back down onto the pillow, swiftly pulling my gloves back on.

"...Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" the bishop announced, finishing his official declaration.

"Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" the congregation repeated, cheering and clapping. With an imperceptible sigh of relief, I realized that no one had seen the ice forming on the orb and scepter. I was even more relieved to find out that the coronation ceremony was over. A small grin made its way onto my lips as I turned to face the cheering crowd.

I did it! I was able to make it through the ceremony without revealing my secret - though I certainly came close. I allowed myself to relax a little; at last, it was over. Yet, even amongst the praise and adulation of the crowd, there was one troubling thought that lingered in my mind. It was a thought that had actually formed long ago, during my years of isolation. It had remained in the background of my thoughts for many years, but at that moment, it manifested itself more clearly than ever.

_I'm not meant to rule._


	11. Celebration

**Ni hao! TariaNalu here! So, this chapter is when things kinda start lurking into crossover territory. Just a heads up!**

**Anyways, I realize it's been over a week since I've posted anything. Yikes! To keep this story from going stale, I've decided to split the party chapter into two parts, and release the first part here. The second should be coming some time soon, so just hang in there, guys! And thank you all for being so supportive. You guys keep me motivated to write.**

**As always, don't forget to leave a review! As I said before, your feedback means a lot to me.**

* * *

Later that night, a party was held at the Great Hall. The air was filled with music, laughter, and the smell of wonderful food.

Now, I've never really been one for parties. This is mostly due to the fact that I spent most of my childhood in a locked room, never interacting with people. In fact, looking back, I'm fairly sure that my coronation party was the very first party I had ever attended. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sights and sounds. After spending thirteen years in a nearly empty castle, the loud music and boisterous laughter (not to mention the sheer amount of _people_) was quite a shock to me. Nonetheless, I was in a fairly good mood; the worst part was over. The rest of the day would be downhill from here.

As soon as the music stopped, the band played a fanfare as Kai made his way to the front. He cleared his throat and announced, "Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" Ah, that was my cue. I strode into the room, a contented smile on my face, as the guests bowed respectfully. Standing under the royal canopy, I took in the festive scene around me. _So,_ I thought for a brief moment, _this must be what it's like to be respected..._

"Princess Anna of Arendelle!" Kai continued, holding his arm up towards the west entrance. Immediately, my sister stumbled into the room, waving excitedly at the crowd. Kai ushered her to a position under the royal canopy.

"Oh, here?" she whispered, though I could very clearly hear her, "...'cause I'm not sure I'm supposed to-" Kai nearly lifted her off the ground and set her down next to me. "...Oh, okay," she mumbled, keeping a formal distance away from me. The guests cheered as the festivities continued.

Anna and I stood under the canopy, watching the party. Though the guests were certainly having a good time, an awkward silence loomed over me and my sister. Thirteen years of separation had definitely taken their toll on our relationship. I figured if there was any time to begin reconciling with her, it would definitely be now. But what could I possibly say to her? Anything I say would only make me seem awkward. _Just say hello,_ I told myself, _it'll be a good start._

I glanced at my sister. Her hands were stiffly clasped in front of her, and her gaze was pointed downward. She was clearly as uncomfortable as I was, if not more. Finally, I mustered up my courage. "Hi," I said rather coyly.

Anna was visibly taken aback. For a split second, I thought she was going to run out on me. Instead, she responded with an equally awkward "Hi...hi me?" I nodded, amused. Even after thirteen years, my sister was still the innocent little girl that I had come to know and love. "Oh, um...hi," she replied with a smile. Then she went back to fidgeting uncomfortably, evidently unused to talking to me.

_Come on,_ I thought, _I'm losing her..._ I quickly racked my brain for something to say.

"You look beautiful," I remarked, deciding to stick to the small talk.

Anna perked up, her blue eyes suddenly full of optimism. "Oh, thank you," she responded, the awkward tension slowly lifting, "you look beautifuller. I mean, not fuller. You don't look fuller, but more-more beautiful." I giggled softly; for all her formality, my sister always had a rather clumsy aura about her. But I always found that part of her so endearing.

"Thank you," I said, smiling. _Well, _I thought, _this is a good start. If I can just work my way up..._

"So," I continued, observing the festivities, "this is what a party looks like." The guests were dancing, eating, and talking cheerfully. For a second, I secretly longed to have attended more of these growing up.

"It's warmer than I thought," Anna commented, having never attended a party herself.

"And what is that amazing smell?" I asked. We both sniffed the air in unison, eagerly taking in the unmistakable aroma of our favorite food. It reminded me of lazy Saturday afternoons, when Kai and Gerda would bring us candies after returning from the marketplace.

"Chocolate!" we both said as we faced each other, laughing. I continued watching the party, feeling my heart flutter. Was I really doing it? Was I really connecting with my sister? It looked like the day would be ending on a happy note after all.

"Your Majesty," Kai came in, introducing a rather short man, "the Duke of Weaseltown."

"Weselton!" the Duke corrected him, his thin frame immediately tensing up. Then, after regaining his composure, "The Duke of Weselton, your Majesty."

_Weselton,_ I thought, trying to remember those political lessons Mama had taught me all those years ago, _Weselton, Weselton...that's right! Weselton is one of Arendelle's closest allies. We've had a long-standing relationship for many years._

He walked up to me and Anna as Kai walked away, scowling. The Duke continued, "As your closest partner in trade, it seems only fitting that I offer you your first dance as queen."

Immediately, I stiffened. _Dance?_ No, I couldn't dance. If anyone were to touch my ice-cold skin, my secret would be in terrible danger of being revealed. I had to make up some excuse not to dance with the guy...

My thoughts were interrupted when the Duke, without warning, pulled off a rapid series of erratic movements that only he could call "dancing." He ended with a low bow and an outstretched hand. As he bowed his head, his toupee peeled off his head, nearly falling off! Anna and I looked at each other, giggling, as the toupee hung off the Duke's head like a curtain. Then I cleared my throat and smiled politely.

"Thank you," I replied as the Duke stood upright, fixing his toupee with the motion, "only I don't dance."

"Oh," the Duke muttered, scowling. Did I offend him?

"But my sister does," I continued, gesturing towards Anna. My sister gave a hearty laugh for half a second before looking at me as if I had just stabbed her in the back.

"Wait, what?" she asked as the Duke slid up to her.

"Well," the old man said, joining his arm with hers, "lucky you!"

"Oh, I don't think-" was all Anna could say before the Duke ran into the crowd, dragging her behind him. "If you swoon, let me know, I'll catch you!" I heard him explain as Anna reached out to me.

"Sorry," I whispered as I waved to her, giggling.

It went without saying that the Duke was a terrible dancer. I watched from underneath the canopy as he tried to showcase more of his "dance moves" to a very embarrassed Anna. Out of politeness, I had to stifle my laughter as my sister tried her best to dance normally, which was pretty hard to do since the Duke was constantly stepping on her toes. On multiple occasions, his toupee came close to falling off as he bobbed his head back and forth, like a chicken. He also put his face uncomfortably close to my sister's, trying to strike up a conversation, though I couldn't quite hear what he was saying. Finally, I burst into laughter as the Duke started impersonating various animals while circling around my sister, who by this time had turned fifty shades of red. I kept laughing as he pulled my sister into a dip, which nearly brought her to the floor since she was a good foot taller than he was. As she bent backwards, she made eye contact with me. I laughed as she shot me a wry grin, before the Duke pulled her back up and jumped around, acting like some sort of monkey-bird hybrid. For a second, I almost felt bad for Anna. Almost.

When the song finished, Anna limped back to the canopy, panting as she fixed her dress. Meanwhile, I couldn't stop laughing.

"Well," I remarked through a fit of giggles, "he was sprightly!"

Anna adjusted her shoe, which the Duke had stepped on multiple times. "Especially for a man in heels!" she replied. I laughed at her comment. I couldn't believe it! Even after thirteen years of shutting her out, never speaking to her, and outright ignoring her, she was still talking to me as if I were her best friend. It was almost as if the past thirteen years had never happened.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my laughter slowly subsiding.

Anna looked at me with an expression of innocent joy. The same kind of expression I had seen in her eyes multiple times as a little kid. "Yeah," she replied, clearly having more fun than she had in years, "I've never been better. This is so nice!" Then her voice took on a more intimate tone as she continued, "I wish it could be like this all the time."

I knew exactly what she meant. "Me too," I responded as I gazed deep into my sister's blue eyes, practically feeling the warmth radiating from her body. At that moment, it felt like we had never been separated; like we grew up together, playing, laughing, and having fun like ordinary children. As I shared this moment with Anna, I noticed something in her hair. When I looked closer, I was abruptly reminded of why we had grown apart in the first place.

It was the white streak in her hair, the one from thirteen years ago. The one that had formed when I hit her with my powers. It had never gone away, and though it was mostly hidden in her elegant updo, I could still make out the small stripes of white on her strawberry-red hair.

Immediately, I was snapped back to reality. Of course it couldn't be like this all the time. I would only end up hurting her again. In fact, I thought, why was I even trying to repair our relationship? I knew that after today, I would have to go back into hiding, shutting her out like I had been for the past thirteen years. I was only setting her - and myself - up for heartbreak.

"But it can't," I found myself saying to my sister, as I turned away and closed my eyes. I didn't want to see the hurt on her face.

"Well, why not?" she asked, her voice still upbeat. She approached me with open arms. "I mean, we-"

"It just _can't_," I interrupted her in a tone a little more harshly than I had intended, turning my back to her.

Immediately, I regretted it. Why did I say that? Why did I have to act so cold towards her? I finally had a chance (probably the only one I'll ever get) to bond with my sister, and I completely ruined it. I fought the tears that started building in my eyes, as well as the magic that started rising in my chest. I was so close. So close to finally repairing the rift that had formed between us. But it couldn't happen. An emotionally charged silence hung over me and Anna.

"Excuse me for a minute," she said to me, regaining the uncomfortable formality in her voice. Even then, I could hear the pain in her words. I watched, with a heavy heart, as my sister left the canopy and disappeared into the crowd, leaving me by myself. Even though the room was filled with a crowd of people, I had never felt as alone as I did at that moment.

* * *

Even after Anna was out of sight, I stayed under the canopy, immersed in a sea of emotions. As I stood by myself, keeping my head bowed, I felt my old anxieties wash over me. Why did this keep happening to me? Whenever I tried to make amends to my relationship with Anna, I only ended up pushing her further away. The poor girl always had her hopes up, and I dashed them every single time. What's more, I hurt her at the worst possible time. Tonight was the only chance she had to interact with people, to make new friends. And I had ruined everything for her. In the past, she was able to forgive me for shutting her out. But I wasn't so sure she would be as optimistic this time around. The more I thought about it, the more certain it seemed to be: Anna would never forgive me for this. After all, every person has a breaking point. No, if I wanted to end my own suffering, there was only one thing I could possibly do: I had to tell her about my powers. I would have to explain to her why I had shut her out for the past thirteen years, and maybe, just maybe, she would find it in her heart to forgive me. But could I really do it? If I were to show my sister the real me, would she still see me the same? Or would she think of me as a monster? I groaned; my hands trembled ever so slightly at the mere thought of losing Anna.

_No,_ I thought, brushing aside my fears, _I'll tell her tonight. She's ready to know the truth._

My thoughts were interrupted by Kai, who cleared his throat and looked at me with a concerned expression. "Your Majesty?" he asked in a soft tone, "Are you all right?"

Realizing how miserable I must have looked, I straightened my back and ran a hand through my hair, pushing my emotions into a deep corner of my heart. My anxieties concerned me and me alone; there was no need for them to get in the way of business. "Of course," I replied, though my appearance may have betrayed me.

Kai continued, "There are important dignitaries from various countries here at the party. Perhaps your Majesty would be so kind as to grant them an audience? It is your father's kingdom, after all. It is important to maintain relations with Arendelle's allies, too."

I cleared my throat and adjusted my dress. "Yes, yes, of course. You can send them over."

Kai bowed and walked away, disappearing into the crowd. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second, suddenly remembering why this day was going to be such a challenge. Yes, the coronation itself was over, but I still had to converse with people from all over the world. Though Anna would have jumped at the chance, I wasn't quite as eager, for a variety of reasons. Nonetheless, I mustered up my courage and plastered a polite, if not uncertain, smile on my face. At the moment, I had a duty to fulfill as queen, and I would have to play it out perfectly.

As I waited for the dignitaries, my mother's training ran through my mind; specifically, how to manage foreign relations, both in trade and in alliances. She had taught me that I should procure as many allies for Arendelle as I could. And to do that, I had to be a master at persuading, negotiating, and even small talk, speaking with a mixture of force, eloquence, and a dash of proper humor. I took a deep breath. _Here goes,_ I thought.

Kai stepped out of the crowd and approached me, introducing a rather tall man. "Your Majesty," the servant said, bowing, "the Baron of Versaille."

"Your Majesty," the Baron said, bowing. I curtsied politely in response. The Baron continued, "You may call me Jean, if you prefer."

"Pleased to meet you, Jean," I said. It was a nice name. And the man seemed polite enough, but his accent made it a bit hard to understand what he was saying. "How do you do?" I asked.

"Ah, very well, your Majesty, _merci._ Allow me to be the first to say congratulations on your coronation! You are very young for a queen, no?" Not knowing how to respond, I simply nodded and smiled. Jean continued, "And this is a very nice party. The food is exquisite!" He chuckled, and my stomach growled in response. Now that I thought about it, it had been quite a while since I had last eaten. "Anyway," Jean said, "I can see great things in the future of Arendelle and Versaille, your Majesty. King Agdar and I had been discussing a possible alliance for many years. Hopefully you will follow in your father's footsteps, yes? It would be such a shame if our respective kingdoms never become allies."

"Indeed, it would," I replied in a somewhat reserved tone, realizing I was still unused to talking to other people. Then I drew a blank. What else was I supposed to say? Suddenly, everything I had learned from Mama completely vanished from my mind. "Um...well, I look forward to doing business with you, Baron Jean," I said, ending the conversation on a somewhat awkward note. The man bowed and left to talk with the other guests. _Well,_ I thought, _that went well...I guess._

Before I could dwell too much on what I did wrong, another man approached me. Unlike Jean, he was a bit plump, with round glasses and a thick moustache. He bowed in front of me, and I curtsied in response.

"Ah, if it isn't little Princess Elsa, now a queen!" the man said with a slight slur, laughing cheerfully. I stared at him, shocked at his rather informal tone of voice. He must have seen the confusion on my face, because he continued, "Oh, you don't remember me, do you? Well, I honestly wouldn't blame you. The last time I saw you, you were but a wee little baby!" He chuckled, and I smiled politely. "But oh, where are my manners? Terribly sorry, your Majesty. My name is Reginald. I am the Prime Minister of Lancaster."

I nodded courteously. "Pleased to meet you, Reginald." I quickly searched my brain for a topic to converse about. Finding nothing, I decided to stick to small talk. "So, um...you said you saw me a long time ago, when I was a baby. Did you know my parents?"

A warm smile made its way onto Reginald's pudgy, red face. "Ah, yes. King Agdar and Queen Idun were very close friends of mine. They were very good people. Oh, now here's something you probably didn't know: a long time ago, they were the happiest, most carefree couple I had ever met! Your father in particular had a knack for getting himself into trouble. Surprising?"

"Yes, indeed," I replied, genuinely shocked. I tried visualizing Papa playing pranks, having parties, and getting into all sorts of mischief. But I couldn't seem to form the image in my head. Instead, I could only imagine the level-headed, kindhearted man who took his job, just like everything else in his life, with the utmost seriousness. What had caused him to change?

As if reading my thoughts, Reginald said, "But things became different when you were born. Your mother and father suddenly became the most reclusive people in the world. It was almost as if they were hiding something. And they were very protective of you, too. Idun wouldn't even let me hold you!"

Immediately, I felt a small pang of guilt. It was me. I had caused my parents to distance themselves from everyone. They only wanted to hide my powers from the world, but in doing so, they had to let go of their interpersonal relationships. How much of their lives had I ruined?

Reginald continued, "As time passed, we kept contact, but alas, we slowly drifted apart over the years." I found myself nodding in agreement; I, too, knew what it was like to slowly grow apart from a close friend. Reginald chuckled, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Ah, but here you are now. The little baby I met long ago has become Arendelle's queen. I know Agdar and Idun would be very proud if they could see you now." For a while, I thought I saw a glint of pride in his eyes, as if I were his own daughter just as much as my parents'. Touched by his words, I was just about to say "thank you" when he abruptly interrupted me.

"Well then!" he said loudly, the jolly grin making its way back to his face, "Onto more important matters. You know, it isn't often that a princess becomes queen without a...er, prior engagement, if you know what I mean." He chuckled heartily at his own words. I giggled politely in response, though I didn't quite know what he was talking about.

"So?" he continued after a brief pause, "who's it going to be?"

"Sorry?" I asked.

Reginald laughed, as if the answer should have been obvious. "Why, your _consort,_ Queen Elsa! Who's it going to be? Arendelle needs a king, you know."

Immediately, I felt my face grow warmer. I did _not_ feel comfortable talking about this! "I, uh..." I stammered, too flustered to think coherently, "I'm, uh...unattached at the moment." Hoping to drop the subject, I decided to change the topic. "So, um-"

"Well that's _perfect!"_ said Reginald, clasping his hands as his face lit up with excitement. "In that case, then, you know who I think you'll _love?_ My son, William! Yes, he's around your age, I think. You two will hit it off for sure! Who knows, he might even become Arendelle's next king. Oh, wouldn't that be delightful? I should convince him to visit Arendelle one of these days. You'll love him, I just know it! You two have so much in common. I look forward to introducing you!" He bounded away excitedly before I had a chance to say anything. I was left alone under the canopy, my face still hot.

_Great,_ I thought, _I've managed to make a fool out of myself in front of Versaille's baron, and Lancaster's prime minister expects me to marry his son._ Evidently, I still had a lot to learn about being queen. Or just talking to people, for that matter. I sighed, frustrated and disappointed in myself. How was I supposed to rule Arendelle when I could barely hold up a conversation?

I was too busy mentally kicking myself to notice the young couple that had suddenly approached me. The woman, a petite brunette who appeared to be around my age, cleared her throat, and I was snapped back to attention. "Oh," I said, slightly flustered, "um, greetings."

The woman spoke first, her short hair bobbing up and down as she curtsied excitedly. "Hello," she said in a formal, yet charismatic tone, "My name is Rapunzel. Er, _Princess_ Rapunzel." She gestured towards the man next to her. "And this is Eugene, my husband."

"How's it going, Queen Elsa?" the man asked, extending a hand towards me, "Eugene Fitzherbert. Nice to meet-" He was abruptly interrupted by Rapunzel, who had subtly delivered a swift elbow to his gut, while still smiling at me. Eugene nearly doubled over, holding his stomach in pain. "Ow! Really, Punzie?"

"Manners, Eugene!" Rapunzel whispered to her husband (though I could clearly hear her from where I was standing), "We're at a _coronation_. That's no way to address a queen!" I couldn't help but giggle at her remark. Rapunzel gave me an expression that contained a strange mixture of apology and reassurance, before renewing the smile on her face. For some reason, she looked vaguely familiar, though I was certain I had never seen her before.

"Anyway," the princess continued, "on behalf of Corona, Eugene and I would like to offer our congratulations to you!"

"Thank you," I said politely, then stopped cold. _Corona?_ Wasn't that the place where my parents were heading when they died at sea? Yes, I remembered it clearly. Papa said that he and Mama were sailing there to attend the wedding of Corona's princess. As in, the one who was standing in front of me at that very moment. Though I tried as hard as I could to conceal my emotions, I couldn't help but give a slight gasp. I must have appeared absolutely horrified, because Rapunzel and Eugene looked at me as if I were having a heart attack.

"Are you okay, your Majesty?" Eugene asked.

"Y-you," I stammered before realizing what I was saying, "it...it was your wedding..."

Eugene bit his lip uneasily as Rapunzel cocked her head to the side. "Hmm? I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, your Majesty."

Eugene nudged his wife and whispered, "Psst. Remember? King, Queen, Arendelle..."

A flash of recognition manifested on Rapunzel's face, followed by guilt, then sympathy. "Oh," she whispered, more to herself than anyone, "Oh, I'm so, so, so sorry, your Majesty. If I had known there was going to be a huge storm, I-"

"No," I reassured her with a smile, though I was still shaking inside, "it's quite all right. Nothing is your fault. The past is in the past. And on behalf of my parents, as well as all of Arendelle, allow me to say congratulations on your marriage!"

Rapunzel's face lit up, her sadness quickly dying away. "Thank you!" she replied cheerfully, "Oh, you should have been there. There was a celebration that lasted for _weeks,_ and the entire town was full of sunlight and music and..." As she spoke, I realized why she seemed so familiar to me: she reminded me of Anna. They were so alike, from physical appearance to personality. Even their voices were nearly identical.

"A little late on the congratulations there, buddy," Eugene mumbled to me, followed immediately by another elbow from Rapunzel. "Ow! Seriously, will you stop that?"

"Eugene!" Rapunzel chided her husband, "Really, sometimes I don't even..."

Eugene rolled his eyes, though he was still grinning. "Alright, alright." Then he turned back to me. "A little late on the congratulations there, _your Majesty._ That better, Punzie?"

Rapunzel groaned, though she was smiling from ear to ear, evidently amused by her husband's antics. "You really must excuse him," she said to me, "He's not quite used to formal events like this."

"Oh, come on," Eugene said flippantly as I quietly giggled in the background, "you're certainly one to talk, Miss Trapped-In-A-Tower."

"Well," I said to Eugene, "that makes two of us...buddy." The three of us laughed, and ended up chatting a while longer. Surprisingly, I didn't feel awkward or uneasy. For the first time in thirteen years, I was able to have a regular conversation with regular people. As the night carried on, it looked more and more like this day wouldn't turn out so bad after all.

Or at least, that's what I tried to tell myself.


	12. Party Is Over

I spent a good deal of the night talking with various politicians, my spirits slowly lifting as the night carried on. Surprisingly, I found that I was getting rather adept at the art of political discussion. For the most part, I was able to make a somewhat favorable impression of myself. As I spoke with the dignitaries, I discovered that Mama and Papa hadn't procured many allies for Arendelle, due to their sudden reclusiveness after my birth. After they discovered that their daughter had magic powers, they shut themselves (and by extension, the entire kingdom of Arendelle) away from the world. They had the best of intentions, but their actions apparently caused the whole kingdom to suffer. That was probably why Mama told me to gain as many allies for Arendelle as possible; the kingdom, as it turned out, was in a bit of a rut at the moment. It was in need of foreign aid. Now that I was able to conceal my own secret, I could help Arendelle get back on its feet, and make up for Mama and Papa's losses.

But even as I discussed these matters with the dignitaries, I found my thoughts wandering back towards another important issue: Anna. After she left me underneath the canopy, she had disappeared into the crowd, and hadn't turned up since. Where had she gone? She couldn't have just disappeared like that. She must have been _somewhere_. I had even sent out a guard to search the castle for my sister, but he turned up empty-handed. It wasn't until about an hour later when I really started to worry about her.

Luckily, she turned up soon afterward. "Elsa!" I heard her call out from behind me. She reappeared from the crowd, followed by a rather handsome young man in royal attire. She stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the Prince of Cordoba in front of me, and adjusted her posture. "Er, I mean, Queen," she corrected herself, curtsying politely. I nodded, dismissing the Prince of Cordoba, and turned around to face my sister and the strange man who stood behind her. She took the man's hand in hers and brought him forward, introducing him. "Um, may I present...Prince Hans of the Southern Isles!"

I couldn't help but notice how Prince Hans linked arms with my sister as he bowed and respectfully addressed me. I nodded politely in response, hesitant as to where this was heading.

They then proceeded to stumble on each other's words. "We would like..." they began in unison.

"...uh, your blessing," Prince Hans continued.

"...of..." Anna carried on excitedly.

"...our marriage!" they finished together, excitement plastered on both their faces.

As soon as they said the word _marriage_, my heart skipped a beat. For a full second, I completely forgot how to speak. "Marriage?" was all I could utter as I regathered my scattered thoughts.

"Yes!" Anna squealed enthusiastically, oblivious to my stunned reaction.

I tried in vain to wrap my head around the idea of it all - my sister, marrying this complete stranger? "I'm sorry, I'm confused," I replied with a fake smile, expecting her to come out and tell me that the whole thing was a joke, and that she wasn't actually going to get _married..._

But she said no such thing. Instead, she started prattling on and on about her wedding, as if it were a definite event in the future. "Well, we haven't worked out all the details ourselves. We'll need a few days to plan out the ceremony. Of course, we'll have soup roast, and ice cream, and-" I was just about to jump in and tell her what a foolish idea that was when a thought suddenly dawned on her. She turned to Hans. "Wait. Will we live here?"

I could feel my breath being knocked out of me. "Here?!" I asked incredulously, though she didn't seem to hear me.

"Absolutely!" Prince Hans replied, much to my surprise. Why was he going along with this?

"Anna-" I began, but she cut me off before I could say another word.

"Oh, we can invite all twelve of your older brothers to stay with us!" she said eagerly, her face filled with naïve joy.

_Twelve?_ No, that wouldn't work for a variety of reasons. "What?" I tried saying to her, though she was way too caught up in her excitement to hear me, "No, no, no, no-"

"Of course, we have the room," she continued, mentally planning things in that one-track mind of hers, "I don't know. Some of them must-"

"Wait," I said firmly, finally getting her to stop chattering, "Slow down. No one's brothers are staying here, no one is getting married."

Though it felt satisfying to finally get through to her, the pained reaction on my sister's face broke my heart. "Wait, what?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in disbelief.

My heart leaped in my chest. _I have to tell her,_ I thought, _It has to be now. She needs to know the reason behind everything - why I've shut her out, why no one else can live here, and why she can't marry this man._

I wrung my gloved hands as my eyes darted around the room nervously. "May I talk to you, please? Alone?" I asked, my voice suddenly taking a more urgent tone.

Anna backed away from me, still shocked by my response. She linked arms with Hans, obstinately refusing to leave his side. "No," she said, a hint of bitterness in her voice, "Whatever you have to say, you...you can say to both of us."

I groaned; she wasn't making this easy. But if I couldn't tell her my secret, I could at least tell her the next most important thing on my mind. "Fine," I said, regaining my emotionless façade of formality, "you can't marry a man you just met."

"You can if it's true love," Anna replied stubbornly, clinging onto Hans' arm as if her marriage depended on it.

Was that what she thought this was? True love? I had never been in love my entire life, but I was certainly able to recognize a faker when I saw one. "Anna, what do you know about true love?" I asked, exasperated.

"Well, more than you," she shot back, the hostility in her voice slowly growing, "All you know is how to shut people out!"

Her words cut me deeply. She may as well have thrust a knife into my chest. _So that's what she thinks of me,_ I thought as my heart shattered into a million pieces. The magic in my chest suddenly rose to a dangerous level, spurred on by the various emotions that had started swirling violently within me.

After a few seconds, I was able to regain my composure, but the magic in my heart was still threatening to externalize itself. I had to leave the room before it was too late. But first, I had to finish things with Anna. "You asked for my blessing, but my answer is no," I told her firmly, hearing the sadness in my own voice, "Now, excuse me." I walked past Anna, towards the exit. I needed to find some place to calm down and suppress my powers before talking to my sister again.

But I couldn't even have that. "Your Majesty," said Prince Hans, who up to this point had been watching uncomfortably, "if I may ease your-"

"No, you may not," I interrupted him, a little more harshly than I had intended, "and I...I think you should go." In fact, I thought, everyone should probably leave. The longer I stayed in the room, the more likely my powers were going to be revealed to everybody present. "The party is over. Close the gates," I said to the royal handler, who responded with a dutiful "Yes, your Majesty" and proceeded to distribute the order amongst his fellow guards.

"What?" I heard Anna whisper behind me, clearly hurt, as I started to walk away. "Elsa, no. No, wait!" she called out as she ran up behind me. But I didn't want to stop and listen to her. My powers were already in great danger of showing themselves, and I didn't want to take the risk of staying in the room any longer. But as my sister approached me from behind, I felt her warm hand wrap around my arm. And just like that, my left glove was gone. I gasped as my eyes went wide, my heart nearly leaping out of my chest. Whipping around frantically, I saw it hanging limp in Anna's hand.

"Give me my glove!" I demanded, desperately reaching out to grab it from her. But she held it away from me, oblivious to how important it really was.

"Elsa, please!" she begged, her voice growing more critical, "Please! I can't _live_ like this anymore!"

_Neither can I,_ I wanted to say to her as my eyes started welling up with tears. But my emotions got the best of me. "Then leave," I found myself saying, my voice weak and broken. The expression Anna gave in response was one of pure heartbreak, like I had completely shattered her entire world. Seeing the hurt on her face was too overwhelming for me. I turned around and headed back for the exit, the magic in my chest rising to a dangerously high level. I needed to get out, and as quickly as possible. I held my exposed left hand close to my body, keeping it hidden from view. _Conceal, don't feel...conceal, don't feel..._

"What did I ever do to you?!" Anna demanded, shouting angrily some distance behind me. At last, after thirteen years, the girl had finally reached her tipping point. I expected it to happen sooner or later. But this was the worst possible time for her to snap.

"Enough, Anna," I ordered weakly, looking nervously around the room. The guests had fallen silent, and were staring at me and Anna. Apparently, we were making quite a scene.

"No, why?" Anna insisted, not bothered in the slightest by the anxious whispers of the crowd, "Why do you shut me out?! Why do you shut the world out?! WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?!"

At this point, my hand was already on the doorknob. I was almost home free. I should have taken the opportunity. I should have gone out and calmed myself down. If I had only left the room and calmed myself down, my life today would be so different. But as always, my emotions won over my mind. The chaotic storm of sadness, fear, and anger suddenly came bubbling to the top.

"I said _enough!"_ I exclaimed as I whipped around to confront Anna.

The next few moments played themselves out in slow motion. As I turned around to face my sister, I let my guard down just the tiniest bit - just a mere fraction of a second, mind you. But it was enough for the pent-up magic in my chest to rapidly make its way up my left arm...and into my exposed hand. I desperately tried to direct the magic back into my heart, but it was too late. I watched helplessly as glowing, blue waves of magic coursed through my body and formed in the air. The magic shot in an outwards arc, causing large icicles to spring up from the ground and nearly injure the party guests.

_No. Please, no. _A dreadful silence ensued. It seemed to last for hours. I wished, with every fiber of my being, that I could somehow take it all back. I couldn't hear anything but the sound of my own heartbeat as I nervously scanned over the faces of the crowd. Some of them were scared, and some were hostile. And every single one of them had just witnessed me unleashing my powers. The Duke of Weselton mumbled something to his bodyguards, though I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. My vision started blurring as my legs grew weaker. And then I saw her. Anna. In the midst of the shocked crowd, she stood by herself, an expression of horror on her face as she stared right at me. Not at the jagged mass of icicles that had captured everyone's attention, but directly at me.

"Elsa..." she seemed to whisper, finally realizing why I had acted the way I did for the past thirteen years. And then one thought became clearer than anything else.

_I can't stay here any longer._

Next thing I knew, I was running down the castle's dark halls. The shadows seemed to close in on me as I desperately scrambled for the exit, leaving a white trail of ice behind me. But as I burst through the castle doors and into the courtyard, I encountered a vast crowd standing outside, clapping and cheering for me. They were completely oblivious to what had happened inside. But even so, I knew it would only be a matter of time before they figured out. I looked back and saw some of the Duke of Weselton's bodyguards chasing after me. There was no choice but to press forward. Covering my exposed hand, I reluctantly fled into the courtyard, weaving my way between the mass of people who had come to see me. As I ran, I was surrounded on all sides by a sea of citizens, all of them shouting undeserved praises.

"Your Majesty," said a woman holding a baby, "are you all right?"

_No,_ I silently mouthed as I backed away. There was no escape route in sight, as the crowd was blocking my way out. As I inched backwards, I accidentally bumped against one of the fountains. To steady myself, I gripped the edge of the fountain uneasily. But my heart leaped as I realized that I had gripped it with my exposed hand. Looking back reluctantly, I watched through wide eyes as the fountain's elegant streams of water froze over, transforming into a spiked, intimidating ice structure. Suddenly, the night fell silent, and the entire crowd gasped collectively. _No, please!_ I wanted to say to them, but I couldn't seem to speak. My voice had given up on me.

"There she is!" I heard someone yell. My eyes darted towards the castle doors to see the Duke of Weselton, his bodyguards at his side. "Stop her!" he ordered, pointing at me threateningly.

I raised my hands in defense. I was not a criminal! "Please, just stay away from me!" I pleaded, "Just stay away-"

But before I could finish my sentence, the chaotic, swirling mass of magic in my heart traveled up my arms and into my hands, causing a wave of ice to shoot out towards the Duke. It narrowly missed him, but it froze the floor he stood on, causing him and his bodyguards to slip and fall, hitting their heads on the wooden floor. The crowd gasped as the Duke straightened his glasses, looking at me as if I had just killed someone.

"Monster," he called me, pointing at me, "Monster!" I looked at my hands, cursing my rotten luck. Why, oh why did I have to lose control at the worst of times? I watched helplessly as the crowd started backing away from me, protecting their children. The woman from before held her baby close to her, as if it my very presence was endangering his life. I was on the verge of tears as the people of Arendelle drew back from their queen. Throughout the mess of thoughts swirling around in my frayed head, one fact became clear: _I can't stay in Arendelle any longer._

With a strange mixture of fear and determination, I rushed forward through the crowd, making my way towards the castle gates. The people backed away from me fearfully, providing a path through which I could escape. But even as I ran out the castle gates, I knew I was being chased.

"Elsa!" I heard Anna call out from behind me. But the mere sound of her voice only increased my stress tenfold. Small sheets of ice started blossoming on the ground with every step I took. "Elsa!" she called out again, exiting the castle gates. Forcing myself not to look back, I kept running. But after some time, I stopped dead in my tracks. But it wasn't the sound of Anna's voice that had stopped me. It was the fjord that enclosed Arendelle. The entire castle was surrounded by water, and I had no way around that.

I looked down at the water uneasily. How would I ever get across? There was no way for me to escape. But at that moment, Anna came into sight. "Wait, please!" she called out. I turned around, only to see that she was quickly gaining on me. I had to find a way out.

As I backed away from my sister, small sheets of ice formed under my footsteps. Some of the ice extended past the ground, and onto the water. I gasped in alarm, looking at the small piece of ice that was floating steadily on the fjord. _Could I really...?_ I carefully set my foot on the water...and gasped as a small pad of ice formed, providing a surface on which I could run. Without wasting a second thought, I made my way onto the fjord, the water under my feet freezing into solid ice with every step I took. And I ran. I didn't think about what I was doing, I didn't allow myself to form any regrets. I just kept my eyes forward, and ran as fast as I possibly could.

I sprinted across the fjord and made my way into the wilderness on the other side. I didn't look back. I couldn't look back. I only knew that I would have to leave Arendelle forever. I didn't know where I was heading, or how long I would keep running. As I made my way into the snowy mountains beyond, all I could think was that I had to get as far away from Arendelle as possible.

* * *

**And that's that. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Drop a review, and don't forget to spread this story to everyone: friends, family, pets, you get the idea. Thank y'all for everything!**


	13. Elsa the Snow Queen

_"Conceal, don't feel," Papa gently said, kneeling down and holding my tiny, gloved hand in his. He looked me in the eyes and smiled with all the love of a father towards his troubled daughter. "Don't let it show. Can you promise me that you'll never let anyone know about our little secret?"_

_"I promise, Papa," I responded with a cheerful smile._

* * *

I wiped a hand across my wet face as I ran further and further into the vast, empty night, doing little to clear the tears from my blurred vision.

* * *

_"Be the good girl you always have to be," Mama reminded me, caressing my cheeks with all the tenderness of a mother towards her lost child. She kissed me on the forehead and set my storybook on my side table, wishing me goodnight._

_"Goodnight, Mama," I called out across the room, before pulling the covers over my eyes and snuggling into my warm, comfortable bed._

* * *

I was lost. So hopelessly lost. And lonely. My only companions were the myriad snowflakes that relentlessly buffeted my face as I ran further into the unknown darkness that lay ahead.

* * *

_"Elsa?" said my sister, peering through the lockhole in my bedroom door. "Elsa, are you in there?" She knocked on my door with all the eagerness of a little child longing to see her long-lost sister. "Do you wanna build a snowman?"_

* * *

Unable to take any of it anymore, I stopped in my tracks and fell to my knees. I buried my face in my hands and wept, releasing all the misery I had been holding in for the past thirteen years. Throughout the swirling storm of rampant thoughts in my head, a flurry of questions rushed to the forefront. Why, oh why did I have to break my promise to Mama and Papa? How did I let things get this bad? There would be no coming back from this. I've failed everyone. Mama and Papa, Anna, the people of Arendelle - they all expected so much of me. But I couldn't rise to the challenge. I was a failure. In my state of psychological breakdown, I swore I heard my father's stinging rebukes faintly echoing throughout the night.

"How could you, Elsa?" he seemed to say, "You promised never to reveal your powers! What happened to that promise? What happened to everything I taught you?" I only broke down further, my desperate cries echoing into the silent night. I could only listen helplessly as my father continued, "Everything we worked so hard to hide...you've ruined it all. You're no queen of Arendelle. And you're certainly no daughter of mine."

"I'm sorry, Papa," I whispered shakily into the cold, bleak air, more to myself than anyone, "I'm sorry, Mama. I'm sorry, Anna. I tried. I really did. But...I was too weak. I couldn't do it."

Realizing that I was talking to nobody, I bowed my head in defeat, dug my hands into the freezing snow, and wept, sinking deeper into despair. It was all so unfair! What had I ever done to deserve this? All my life, I had always tried my best to be a good girl, to be the person Mama and Papa wanted me to be. Every single waking moment was spent tirelessly following their instructions. In doing so, I had sacrificed everything - my childhood, my relationship with Anna, my happiness. But where did that all get me? Alone, trapped in my room, isolated from the world by a powerful secret that I couldn't even contain. Even then, things kept spiraling downwards. My sister had given up on me. My parents had died, leaving me to fend for myself. I had accidentally revealed my powers to the world, exposing everything Mama and Papa had worked so hard to hide. And now here I was, alone on this mountain, with no one to rely on. I was all alone. Never before had I experienced such a profound level of loneliness. I thought I was alone when I first started shutting myself away from the world. And again when Mama and Papa died. But now, as I stood by myself in the frigid solitude of this cursed mountain, I finally realized what it was like to be truly, utterly, devastatingly alone. Without a soul in the world to care for you, to help you get back on your feet, to comfort you when you were in the depths of despair.

It was times like these when Papa would tell me to get up, wipe my own tears, and keep walking. He was always a tough man to please, my father. In his busy life, he had little tolerance for emotion. And so, as if to honor some postmortem wish, I reluctantly decided to get up and move forward. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I shakily stood up, brushed the snow off my dress, and started walking, my head still reeling from the events that had played themselves out earlier that night. My mind, just like the blizzard that swirled around me, started clearing just the tiniest bit as I advanced forward, treading lightly through the foot-deep layer of snow. As my sobs hesitantly died away, I decided to check my surroundings, having no idea where all that running had taken me.

Cold, blank snow covered the ground, stretching out over the horizon. There wasn't a single footprint in sight; just me, myself, and I, all alone in this dismal field of white. Up above, eerie, shapeless forms danced indistinctly across the sky as the Northern Lights put on their nightly show. The frosty wind was howling and swirling like the mess of emotions inside me. And in the middle of it all, this lifeless expanse of solitude, stood me, a fallen queen in my own little kingdom of isolation.

After walking a bit further, I realized that I was on the North Mountain, which overlooked Arendelle. But I was on the other side of the mountain. Arendelle, just like the life I once lived, was nowhere to be seen. There would be no going back to either. Where had I gone wrong? I was only following the instructions my parents had so lovingly given me. But I still couldn't keep it in, even though I had tried.

In the deafening silence that filled the cold air, I had plenty of time to think to myself. I recalled what I had told myself earlier that morning. "Don't let them in, don't let them see," I said to myself, solemnly replaying the directions I had failed to follow. Then, remembering my parents, "Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know."

_Well,_ I thought with a scowl, _now they know. So now what?_

It was a question that I hadn't even thought of. I was too busy running, concentrating on escaping, that I hadn't paid much thought to the future. What would I be doing for the rest of my life? I had just revealed my deepest, darkest secret, and in doing so scandalized an entire kingdom. And in running off the way I did, I knew it was only a matter of time before people would start hunting me down. _What should I do now?_ I thought, mulling over the options,_ I suppose I could spend the rest of my life on this mountain, waiting patiently for death. Or, perhaps I could travel to another country and beg for hospitality, like a miserable suppliant. _

_Or, _I mused, my thoughts unexpectedly taking a darker tone, _I could end it all right here, right now._

Realizing how dismal my thoughts had suddenly grown, I stopped cold in my tracks. "No," I said out loud, putting the idea down before it had a chance to develop. There would be none of that. But the question remained: what should I do, now that my old life was essentially over?

As I mulled over the options, an icy feeling rose in my chest. It was a feeling that, over the course of thirteen years, I had come to fear and loathe. I instinctively pushed it down into a deep corner of my heart, as I had been doing for most of my life. Yet, as I stood by myself in the solitude of the North Mountain, a question came to mind: what's the point? There was no one to hide my secret from in this lonely mountain, and everyone already knew about my powers anyway. Suppressing my powers any further would only cause me unnecessary harm. Reluctantly, I let my emotional barriers down, knowing full well that I was throwing away everything Mama and Papa had taught me. A strange sense of relief flooded my body as the magic in my chest to traveled out of my heart and spread into my limbs, refreshing and invigorating me from the inside out. And then, for the first time in forever, a feeling of great peace unexpectedly came over me. For the past thirteen years, I had been struggling desperately to suppress my magic, this integral part of me that made me who I am. Now that I was no longer held down by this burden - this destructive attempt to conceal something that could never be concealed - I finally felt at peace, like I was finally in tune with my magic. It was as if in that single moment, my magic became a part of me, rather than a problem to fight against.

As I stood by myself, taking pleasure in this new feeling, a realization dawned on me: I was all alone. Of course, I knew I had been viewing that undeniable fact as a tragic piece of misfortune. But in light of my recently reawakened powers, this solitude took on a whole new meaning. My time up on this mountain carried with it endless possibilities - including the chance to start anew. To throw away my old life and start fresh. As I looked around, checking my surroundings, the once bleak-looking mountain looked so much different, like a blank slate waiting for me to make my move. My heart racing with a mixture of apprehension and excitement, I knew what I had to do.

_Let it go,_ I thought, smiling.

Let it go. The words sounded strange, almost foreign to me. For the past thirteen years, I had sacrificed everything in a sad attempt to conform to the expectations of society. During that time, I had gathered a seemingly endless amount of fears, responsibilities, and hardships. The simple act of letting it all go was something that had never occurred to me. Yet, as I stood by myself in the cool, quiet air of the North Mountain, it only seemed like the most natural way to go. But despite the feeling of optimism that was slowly growing inside me, I felt that something was holding me back. Something that had been with me all my life, a reminder of the struggles and misfortunes that had plagued me for so long. Looking down at my hands, I realized what it was. The gloves. Or rather, the single glove that remained on my right hand. I had been wearing them since childhood, during a time when I was desperately (and unsuccessfully) trying to suppress my powers. To me, the very act of wearing them was an act of self-harm, representing a time when I was a miserable little girl, trapped in her room.

And so, acting on the small feeling of freedom my powers had suddenly granted me, I eagerly slipped the remaining glove off my right hand and, without a second thought, threw it up into the air, watching contentedly as the wind carried it out of sight. As the teal glove sailed away into the dark night, carried by the swirling current of the wind, the small grin on my face broke out into a full smile. At last, after thirteen years, the gloves had finally been removed. It was the first step in a journey that would come to change me forever.

In my state of excitement, I was eager to do something more. Simply removing my gloves was a good first step, but surely I could go further. As if in response, the refreshing, cold sensation in my body grew to a whole new level. It was as if my magic was begging to be released. And so, acting purely on instinct, I held up my left hand and concentrated on the magic within my heart.

"Let it go," I said to myself, mentally clearing up any traces of uneasiness that remained within me. And then, for the first time in thirteen whole years, I deliberately summoned my powers, directing them into my left palm. I smiled, a small surge of pleasure shooting through my body, as a miniature wave of glowing, blue snowflakes materialized above my open hand. Fascinated with how different it felt to purposely use my magic, instead of fighting against it, I decided to try it again. Opening up my right hand, I once again concentrated on the icy magic that rested in my heart. Just like before, the same pleasurable feeling rose in my body as the magic traveled up my arm and into my right palm, summoning a tiny flurry of sparkling, blue magic.

I nearly laughed to myself, a blissful feeling rapidly escalating inside me. How different this was! Instead of suppressing my magic, I was finally synchronized with it, and it felt amazing to finally be able to use it without fear. At long last, I was in my natural element.

_What else can I do?_ I thought, looking around. Acting on my feelings alone, I waved my hands in circles as icy magic swirled within my chest. In response, the nearby snow rose from the ground and concentrated around a spot to my left, creating a small, spinning vortex. With a few more waves of my hand, the snow gathered together and started forming distinct shapes. Eventually, the shapes assembled themselves, forming a diminutive snowman. Smiling, I looked at my freshly formed creation and allowed an imperceptible giggle to make its way out of my lips before continuing to walk forth.

Wanting to test my powers out further, I raised my left hand into the air and shot a swirling stream of magic into the night sky. I watched, fascinated, as the glistening snowflakes hung gently in the cool air, as if gravity had no effect on them. Smiling, I launched another wave of snow, with my right hand this time. The same pleasurable feeling rose within me as the snowflakes sailed smoothly into the air, spiraling into lovely, curled patterns as they traveled further into the night sky. Just like before, the snowflakes hovered beautifully in the air, twinkling like stars in the sky. Then, I brought my arms close to my chest, a swirling flurry of magic concentrating into my heart, and threw my hands outward, spreading my powers into the air around me. In response, the snowflakes that hovered peacefully in the air floated gently to the ground, a glistening shower of multifaceted beauty. I took some time to appreciate the magnificence of my powers before deciding to take things a bit further.

I threw my arms to the side, releasing a small blast of icy magic that swirled beautifully in the wind upon hitting the mountainside. With every movement I took, every little wave of magic that swirled within me, it started to feel more and more like my life in Arendelle was nothing but a bad dream - one that I was finally waking up from. Those countless days trapped in my room, those myriad expectations and responsibilities that had been heaped upon me, those people who had just witnessed my deepest, darkest secret - they were all gone. Up here on this mountain, there was nothing they could do to harm me.

_I don't care what they're going to say,_ I thought, throwing another blast of magic to my left. I watched with a satisfied smile as it hit the mountainside and swirled in the wind, forming beautiful, curled patterns of snow that undulated in the cool air like waves on a beach. _Let them hate me. Let them spurn me. Let them spread their lies. I don't care. I simply don't care anymore. I'm free now!_

I continued walking up the mountain, knowingly (and, I was proud to admit, willingly) getting ever-further from my old home. As I made my way forward, the wind started picking up, causing my cape to start tugging uncomfortably at my neck. Without a second thought, I wrapped my fingers around the brooch and unfastened the whole thing in one graceful movement, watching contentedly as the wind carried the cape off into the night sky.

_I won't be needing that anyway,_ I thought with a grin, as the cape sailed off into the distance, out of sight and out of mind.

Immediately, I felt like a large chunk of my troubles - the ones that had plagued me for thirteen years - had just been removed. As if in response to my emotions, the howling wind gradually turned into a light breeze, brushing soothingly against my face. As I continued walking up the mountain, my footsteps began feeling lighter. And I mean that quite literally - looking back, I saw that I wasn't leaving any more footprints on the snow. As it turned out, I was no longer treading through it with heavy footsteps; I was actually walking on top of it, like a soft carpet. Snow had become my element. Nothing, not even ankle-deep snow, was in my way anymore.

Who knew, throughout all these years, that all I ever needed was a bit of distance from everything? Suddenly, everything seemed so small to me. I started wondering why I was even so worried in the first place. All those fears and troubles that had controlled me for the past thirteen years were gone now; this was my chance to shine, to finally be the person I wanted to be.

_Just try to get me now,_ I thought, turning around and noticing the mountain's peak, towering into the night sky. For some reason, I felt like I just _had_ to get up there. Perhaps it was the forces of fate, subtly telling me where to go next. Or perhaps it was just a gut feeling. Whatever it was, I decided to make my way up to the mountaintop, not stopping to form any regrets.

Laughing to myself, I broke out into an excited run, feeling the cool mountain air brush against my face. I stopped short when I noticed a large gully that stood between me and the mountain's summit. In order for me to reach my destination, I would have to find a way to cross the gaping chasm and make my way onto the higher ground on the other side.

_It's no problem,_ I thought, excited to use my reawakened powers once more. I felt like I could do anything. _It's time to see what I can do._

I sucked in a breath and threw my arms forward. A wave of magic rushed through my body and out my arms, causing the same cool sensation to rise within me as it flowed out of my hands. Before I knew it, a partially-formed, crude staircase, laden with uneven ice crystals, had formed at the edge of the canyon, extending upwards from the snowy ground. Smiling, I ran towards my creation, looking over it contentedly.

_It's nice, but I can do better,_ I thought, observing the white, jagged ice crystals that randomly dotted the incomplete staircase. But what could I do to fix it? Acting on instinct, I gingerly lifted my foot and set it on the first stair, not knowing what to expect. As soon as my foot touched the stair, the rough, white crystals on the first step melted away in a flash of blue light, revealing a finely polished, elegantly designed stair, glowing blue with magic. My heart nearly bounded with joy as I looked up towards the mountain peak.

_This will be fun,_ I thought.

Laughing, I broke into an excited run up the staircase, making my way towards the summit. Each individual stair turned into a refined, translucent step as I ran forward, leaving a series of glowing, glass-like stairs behind me. I synthesized new steps ahead of me as I climbed higher, heading ever closer towards the summit, and a life of freedom. With every step I took, a new wave of cool pleasure rose within me, reinvigorating me and lifting my spirits even higher. By the time I reached the other side, I felt like I was on top of the world, like I had risen above all the troubles and fears that had afflicted me my entire life. There was nothing in the world that could stop me now.

_I did it!_ I thought, unable to wipe the smile off my face, _I reached the mountain peak! What now?_ From atop the North Mountain, I had a spectacular view of the open valley below. As I gazed in wonder at the tiny, firelit villages that dotted the landscape before me, the answer to my question became marvelously clear.

_Here I'll stay,_ I thought, looking up into the clear night sky, _this is where I'll make my stand._

And in that moment, I knew exactly what to do.

With a smile of pure bliss, I declared my freedom to the world as I stomped my foot hard on the snowy ground, causing an icy, glowing snowflake pattern, around 60 feet in diameter, to blossom forth. It would be the foundation for something great.

I took a deep breath and checked my surroundings, preparing to unleash my powers in their full strength. Holding nothing back, I summoned every last bit of magic I had in me, and slowly raised my arms, directing my powers into the giant snowflake I stood on. In response, the ground started to rumble as massive spires of ice slowly rose from beneath me, surrounding the snowflake I stood on. The colossal spires lifted the snowflake higher as walls of ice gradually materialized between them, enclosing me on all sides. Elegant ice structures materialized on the ground as my immense creation began taking shape around me. Throwing my arms down, I sent a powerful wave of magic in all directions, turning the spires around me into sparkling, glass-like columns of ice, glowing blue with magical energy. Waving my hand around, I directed my magic into the icy walls, giving them a beautiful indigo hue. I could feel my own heart pounding with excitement as I gazed in wonder at the gorgeous structure that was slowly forming around me. Then, waving my hand downward, I poured my magic into the giant snowflake I stood on, causing it to glow a deep violet color, before throwing my arms upward, releasing my powers from the ground and into the air. The icy structures around me glowed blue with sparkling magic as my powers traversed the walls and columns of my creation, causing a glittering shower of snow to occupy the air around me. Powerful waves of magic coursed through my body and into the air as structures connected, complicated patterns formed, and gorgeous formations crystallized spontaneously in a brilliant flurry of creative release. High above me, a pyramidal ceiling took shape, followed by the sparkling crystallization of an ornate, snowflake-shaped chandelier that refracted and reflected the light given off by the illuminated pillars. Elegant patterns of light danced across the glass-like walls as my grand creation finally reached its glorious completion.

At last, it was finished. Towering hundreds of feet above me, surrounding me on all sides, was a gigantic castle, made solely of ice. It was my crowning achievement. Here, I decided, I would be living for the rest of my life. The empty halls translated my emotions into gorgeous patterns of blue light that permeated the translucent walls. Now, there was just one thing left to do.

I plucked the crown off my head and looked at it, almost in contempt. This tiara was a representation of my homeland, my family, and the people I had sworn to protect and govern. But to me, it was a symbol of the miserable life I had been forced to live down in Arendelle. A life that, just like everything else, I would be leaving behind. _There'll be no more of that,_ I thought, a determined grin forming on my face, _that life is behind me._

I held the crown up one last time, pouring the last of my anxieties into it. _No more hiding,_ I thought,_ No more seclusion. No more repression. The past is in the past. Just let it all go._ And then, in what became my crowning moment of freedom, I flung the tiara, along with the rest of my fears, out of sight and out of mind. I hadn't worn the thing for twenty-four hours, and I was already throwing it away - a sure sign that I was never meant to wear it.

_Now,_ I thought, _it's time for the finishing touch._

I grabbed the bun on the back of my head and gave it a good, swift pull, causing it to fall apart into a loose, wavy braid that cascaded brilliantly behind me. As I released my updo, my long, feathery bangs fell in front of my face, brushing softly against my forehead. With a single stroke of my hand, I swept my bangs up to the top of my head, and pushed my braid over my left shoulder, sprinkling it with a few small snowflakes. I smiled, gazing contentedly at my reflection in the glass-like walls.

Then, in my final act of freedom, I concentrated and summoned my powers one last time, directing them towards my clothing. In response, my black, uncomfortable formal shoes transformed into brilliant, silver heels. Meanwhile, a sparkling wave of magic slowly moved up my dress, starting from the skirt upwards. I felt the refreshing coolness of my powers move up my body as my stiff, prim-and-proper coronation dress slowly transformed into a far more comfortable, form-fitting dress. It featured a thigh-high slit that ran up the right side of the long, crystal-blue skirt, a lower shoulderline, and a glittering bodice that sported various shades of blue. Finally, waving my arms down, I created a new cape for myself, replacing the one I had discarded earlier. It was intricately woven from multiple, fiber-like ice crystals, and decorated with large, snowflake-shaped patterns.

At last, my transformation was complete. At that moment, I was no longer the miserable little girl who had spent her life shackled by the confines of fear and repression. That girl was long gone, and would never be coming back.

I strode with poise onto my newly created balcony, stepping into the radiant light of the newly risen sun. As I gazed in triumph at the majestic landscape spread out below me, I raised my arms and shouted at the top of my lungs, proclaiming my newfound independence to the world.

Here I would be safe. Here I would be free. Here I could be who I wanted to be, without fear of what others would do or say. The former queen of Arendelle was dead. The fears and anxieties that once controlled my life held no more power over me. I was no longer Elsa, the fearful princess of Arendelle, isolated from the world by a secret she could never hope to contain. I was someone else entirely. Someone who, against all odds, let go of her fears, embraced her powers, and created a new life for herself. At long last, I was finally free.

And that, my dear reader, is how I became Elsa the Snow Queen.

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**UPDATE: Salve! TariaNalu here!**

**I am so, so, so sorry that I haven't been posting lately. There've been a few problems with the writing program that I'm using. To put it simply, it crashes. A lot. And whenever that happens, all my hard work gets flushed down the drain _ **

**Needless to say, it'll take a while before I'll be able to post the next chapter online. I'm working double-time to fix the problem and finish the chapter. Hopefully it'll be up soon. Take care, guys, and don't lose your faith! I promise, I WILL get through this!**


	14. The First Day of Freedom (lite version)

**Guten tag! TariaNalu here! Okay, so, first of all, I am so, so, so sorry that I haven't posted anything in over a month. As I said earlier, there's been a bit of a problem with my writing software, and it's preventing me from making any real progress. But I'm trying to get it fixed, so please bear with me! I promise, it will be fixed sometime in the future.**

**In the meantime, here's a little snippet of the next chapter. I can't post the whole thing yet, since it isn't finished yet (thanks, once again, to my buggy writing software...) Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and again, sorry for the delay! The full chapter should be out soon :)**

* * *

Now, if you know the story of my sister, you would know that at that very moment, Princess Anna of Arendelle was desperately traversing the snowy wilderness in a (rather unsuccessful) attempt to find me. As it turned out, she had set out to find me on the very night I left Arendelle. She had spent the rest of the night and the entirety of the next day trying to find me, not stopping once to rest or check her surroundings. During that time, according to her, she fought wolves, jumped a cliff, awkwardly conversed with a very peculiar storeowner, encountered a talking snowman, and met her future husband (no, not Hans...more on that later). Don't worry, when she told me the story a few days later, the tale sounded as crazy to me as it probably does to you.

But what most people tend to overlook is that I had an entire day to myself. Yes, while Anna was busy trudging through the treacherous North Mountain, I was relaxing in my newly created home, free at last. But, as I was soon to learn, "freedom" is an ever-changing term. It carries different meanings for different people. Indeed, one person's definition of freedom can change the very next day, as mine did. But if you, my dear reader, were to ask me what I did during my first day of "freedom," I would simply respond with a casual shrug and a dismissive grin. Even today, a full year after the events I write of, I still haven't quite gotten around to telling anyone just what I was doing up in my castle. Anna seems to be particularly insistent on finding out what I did, but even she has been kept in the dark. Perhaps it was to save her from disappointment (as the tale is a lot less exciting than she thinks it is), or perhaps I simply want to keep this private moment - this span of twenty-four hours that I had solely to myself - for my own. But since this book is my official memoir, and not some sort of personal diary, I feel somewhat compelled to recount my experience in my ice palace.

I just hope Anna doesn't read this.

* * *

The cool air was silent. Peaceful. Nothing but the sound of my own breathing. The sun had just risen over the horizon, giving a faint, blue tint to the pink sky. There I stood, alone on my balcony, appreciating the view in peace. At last, after thirteen years of living in misery, I was finally able to have a peaceful moment to myself. As I watched the sunrise, gradually drifting off into my private little world, I continually expected someone to ruin my moment. Perhaps a knock on the door, or a servant calling for my attention. But, as I had to remind myself, I was all alone. There was no one to disturb me, no one to interrupt me, no one to ask me to build a snowman. Just me, myself, and I, all alone in my palace of ice.

_This is nice,_ I thought, calmly looking over at the mountainous horizon. _I can finally breathe._ I stood on the balcony, eagerly soaking in the cool mountain air, as the sun gradually rose higher. Far below me, the snowy valley was silent. Not a sound, save the faint whistle of the cool, mountainous breeze. As the pink sky slowly changed into a pale blue, I found myself yawning. At around this time in the castle, the servants would be bustling about, preparing a hot morning bath and a warm plate of breakfast. Kai would probably be knocking on my door, too. "Your Majesty," he would say, "it's time to get up. We've prepared a nice, hot bath for you to start your day!" And with that, I would (reluctantly) get out of bed, ready to go through another day.

But I realized that I had taken these little things for granted. Out here on the North Mountain, things were absolutely silent. My only companion was the gentle wind that brushed playfully against my ear, slowly growing stronger as the hours went by. Sure, standing out here was nice; I finally had a moment to myself. In fact, I had all the time in the world to myself. But at this point, a little bit of noise - or for that matter, any little sign that I wasn't all alone - would have been much appreciated. But, as it was, I really _was_ all alone, and no such sign came to me. I sighed and, as the sun hung nearly directly overhead, slipped back into the castle and closed the doors behind me, shutting out the cold wind that had just started to pick up.

And there I stood. Alone. I looked around, trying to find something - or, by some remote chance, someone - that could distract me from my troubles. Translucent, blue walls towered above me, refracting the sunlight into brilliant patterns that were scattered on the floor. Tall, glass-like pillars stood in the grand hallways. Their grandeur and beauty were an illustrious reminder of just how powerful I really was. But there was no one around to admire the sights. I was literally standing in the midst of my greatest creation, but there was no one to share it with. I sighed, looking around discontentedly.

"Get used to it," I said out loud to myself. "It's going to be like this for the rest of your life." Somehow, I couldn't take comfort in the thought. I figured I would only be talking to myself more and more in this incredible cold, until the day I die. The thought of it sent a shiver up my spine.

I started pacing absentmindedly around the castle in a rather useless attempt to distract myself from my worries. As I walked pensively down the sunlit halls, I couldn't help but think about my old life down in Arendelle. Living in a castle, ice skating with Anna, touring the town of Arendelle with Papa and Mama - looking back, it was these little moments, the times I spent with the ones I loved most, that went on to become my fondest memories. As I slowly made my way towards the castle's main hall, my eyes started welling up with tears as I realized the truth: I missed everyone. Mama, Papa, Anna, even the servants. I missed them more than anything else in the world. But, as I had to remind myself, that was all in my past. It was time to face the future, and leave that all behind.

But as I was soon to learn, letting go of the past can be a very difficult thing. And sometimes, you just might need your past to point you in the right direction.

I stood by myself in the main hall, eyeing the tall, glass-like throne in front of me. The one I had created for myself the previous night. It was quite slender, with a tall back that featured several intricate patterns that culminated in a single, glistening snowflake design at the top. I had specifically built the throne to distinguish myself as the Snow Queen. And things would have been just fine like that, if it weren't for the other throne that stood right next to it. Yes, in my moment of near-euphoric creativity last night, I had inadvertently created a second throne beside my own. I'm not quite sure why I did it. I guess I was subconsciously suggesting to myself that I would have someone to share this new life with, someone to be my right hand. But I knew that such a notion was impossible to realize. The position of Snow Queen was a solitary position; I would never have a right-hand man.

With a disappointed sigh, I decided to melt the second throne. Seeing it was just a painful reminder of my solitude. But as I waved my hands around, attempting to summon my magic, I realized that I didn't know how to melt my creations. If I did, I probably would have discovered the answer to the mystery that had haunted me my whole life, the elusive secret to controlling my powers. I frowned ever so slightly.

_I guess I'll always have room for others,_ I thought. The idea was bittersweet.

At that moment, something deep within me started aching. I put a hand to my growling stomach and groaned, suddenly realizing how hungry I was. When was the last time I had eaten anything? I tried thinking back to the previous day. As far as I remembered, the last thing I had eaten was a small morsel of chocolate from my coronation party. I had secretly managed to nab one from the dessert table while I was talking with the various dignitaries. Even back then, I was already starving, as I had eaten next to nothing the whole day. Gerda had told me to avoid food as much as possible, so as to keep my figure as slim (or "presentable," as she called it) as possible. Of course, I knew a quick snack here and there couldn't possibly hurt, so I was able to grab a few nibbles during the coronation party. But that was back in Arendelle. Out here in the North Mountain, I was hungrier than ever. But the problem wasn't that I was holding back from eating anything; the problem was that there was absolutely nothing to eat. My stomach growled again, and a small wave of dull pain coursed through my body. I didn't really think this through, did I?

I walked up to my throne and, remembering that no one was watching, plopped onto it in a very un-ladylike fashion, somehow convincing myself that my problems would take care of themselves. Of course, I knew I was deluding myself. I knew that with every passing minute, I was only digging myself deeper into a pit of lies and regrets. And I knew that the path I was walking would ultimately lead to my own undoing. But just for once, I wanted to taste what it was like to be free, to finally break away from the shackles that I had worn my whole life. I wanted to prove to the world - and more importantly, to myself - that I was more than just the scared little girl who spent her life trapped in her room. I wanted to prove how strong I really was. And I believed I could do that by breaking free of my old life, and creating a new one for myself. And so I continued to pull the wool over my own eyes, refusing to see the consequences of my own actions.

As I sat by myself, twirling my braid around my finger in boredom, I couldn't help but fixate my gaze on the empty throne that unceremoniously stood to my right. The very sight of it caused memories of my past to keep springing up in my head. And in that sea of nostalgic thoughts, there was one memory in particular that stood to the forefront of my mind.


End file.
